A Penny's Worth of Affection novel Chapter 78

Penny let go of the rail and wrapped her arms around herself, physically shielding her heart from him. "'Tis too late, Phillip. I have given my word to Mr. Lachlan, and I will marry him. Please leave...Please?"

As she watched, he seemed to crumble before her. His eyes went bleak, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. She turned away, clamping a hand over her mouth to stifle the heart-breaking sobs, and fled inside the house, pushing past her stunned family up the stairs, and shut herself in her room.

***

The next few hours passed in a painful blur for Penny. Her mind felt numb, unable to feel or process any thoughts or emotion. She was aware of Jane coming into the room to speak to her, but she paid no attention. Thankfully, they left her alone until Alasdair arrived. Penny felt as though she were separated from her body, watching it perform as she spoke with Alasdair and stood smiling while her trunks were loaded into the waiting carriage. She was vaguely aware of her father embracing her, and then stunned when he murmured quietly for her ears alone.

"Do what is best for your heart," Sir Inglewood whispered into his daughter's ear, noting how she held herself stiff. His daughter was still in shock, he observed sadly.

Penny nodded and drew away. "I am doing what is best." She cast a glance at Alasdair deep in conversation with Edward, and she smiled. "My life is with Mr. Lachlan, and he will make a wonderful husband and hopefully, a good father."

Sir Inglewood sighed and pressed a kiss on her cheek. "I trust your decision, Daughter. Farewell."

"Farewell, Papa." She stepped away and climbed into the carriage, settling sedately close to the window. A minute later, Alasdair joined her, taking the opposite seat.

He glanced at her, noting how oddly expressionless her face was. "Are you all right, my dear?" he asked, brow furrowing in concern. The carriage set off, its well-padded springs shielding them from the uneven road.

"I am fine," Penny replied, leaning forward to peer out the window at her family. They were still standing where she had left them, watching the carriage depart, and for the first time since Phillip's declaration, the wall of numbness that had surrounded her thoughts burst, and she gasped at the emotional overload that overwhelmed her senses. Oh, dear God! She sank back against the cushion and shut her eyes, her mind instantly replaying the scene with Phillip. He loved her! Phillip loved her!

Her heart yearned for him, yearned to be with the man she loved, and she allowed herself to admit that she wanted to be with him. Was it worth taking the risk with him?

"Of course, it is!" she cried out, startling Alasdair who had been watching her in puzzlement. A brilliant smile lit her face, and she beamed at the man seated next to her. "Of course, it is." Loving Phillip was worth it if he loved her in return.

"Penny?" Alasdair looked worried now. He laid a hand on her lap, his grey eyes troubled. "What is it?"

She sobered as she stared at the man to whom she had promised herself to and felt her excitement abate. How could she break Alasdair's heart? she wondered. He was a pleasant man, but suddenly, Penny realized she would never be completely happy with him. He deserved a woman who loved him completely, not someone who was in love with another man. Not her. Oh God! What was she to do?

Penny's eyes shone at the words. He was going to drop her off at Phillip's country home. She prayed that Phillip had not immediately set out for London and was at Newbridge instead. "You are truly an angel."

He merely grunted good-naturedly and turned to stare out the window. The rest of the short journey was spent in silence until the carriage turned into the magnificent Newbridge driveway and halted close to the doors.

Alasdair leaned forward to detain Penny as she made to climb from the vehicle. "Do try and visit Scotland again soon?"

Penny nodded. "I will, I promise."

"Good luck then."

She watched the carriage until it disappeared, her trunks by her side, and took a deep breath as apprehension suddenly overwhelmed her. What if Phillip turned her away just as she had earlier? What if he was not in residence now? Her heart began to race, and she slowly turned towards the door which was held open by the butler.