Alpha Kian And His Captive Mate novel Chapter 58

~Nyla~

I took a long bath after Kian left. This past week had been the hardest to get through, and I needed to mull everything over.

I wasn't aware it was possible to be this torn between the feelings of love and revenge. While I believe at times that Kian was one of the best things that happened to me, guilt was eating me away. Moving on so quickly seemed unnatural enough, and moving on with the bringer of my misfortunes felt unacceptable.

I thought no one was silently judging me except for my subconscious, which was constantly spewing Wyatt's memories to the front, reminding me what a horrible person I was. Then I found another silent judge when Kian said Maya was watching us.

It must be Maya. She was probably waiting for Kian to move his pack to Golden Dells so she could get her revenge. She didn't know he had no plans to relocate or if I was even alive. Neither did she know he lived in the Western Cascades, which was quite far from home.

If she really felt things for Vance as Ryder and Lorraine had said, she would obviously nurse vengeful intentions, and watching her best friend make out with the murderer must be quite a blow. She might have been counting me along with Vance as the loved ones she needed her revenge for.

Putting aside feelings of guilt and shame was hard enough. Not to mention the struggles with the stone that the evil goddess gave me. I wore it occasionally to prolong the time before withdrawal symptoms would kick in again. The stone was enchanted to manipulate the wearer; it was flooding my mind with negative thoughts, seeking only revenge and destruction.

Every time I wore it, I was convinced to kill Kian and everyone he cared about. Even the thought of wanting to harm people like Rachel was heartbreaking for me. But my ability to empathize or think straight vanished when the stone was on me.

At times, I had considered telling Kian the truth and asking him for blood instead of resorting to wearing something so evil. The thought of my mate pushing me away and hating me was unimaginable. It was one thing to hide my identity and another to betray his trust and kill his people.

Knowing him more at a physical and emotional level was making it more and more difficult for me. He was a real sweetheart who loved me deeply. It would be easier to take these feelings of love with me and disappear for good than be hated and banished.

I was so wrong about him when I thought he would use Ari against me. He loved my baby a lot and made sure I got everything she and I needed. It's not easy for possessive alphas to tolerate another man even looking the wrong way at their mate. He accepted Wyatt as someone I still loved, and Ari as his own baby.

VERIFYCAPTCHA_LABELVerify