Baby I'm A Sinner novel Chapter 47

Lucas winked at him and then Noah passed him the bottle. Once both Eleanor and Lucas took a gulp and passed it along to Zack, they began making out quite disgustingly.

"Get a room!" Liam called out and Lucas flipped him off, not breaking the kiss.

I licked my lips and decided to take the offered bottle anyway, and then took a small sip, which I immediately regretted when I felt my lips and throat catching fire.

"Fuck." I cursed and passed the bottle on to Carly, who laughed at my expression.

All of the boys and Carly ended up getting pissed, and ironically, Noah, who had the best alcohol tolerance, was completely mortal.

"I'm going to take Zack, Carly and Jake home." Jade told me.

Emma was going to take Liam home, and Eleanor was going to make sure Harry and Lucas get home safe, so I had to take care of Noah, who was now trying to get on the slide but kept slipping because he was too drunk and was laughing too loud.

"Noah, come on we have to go home."

"But I don't wanna!" he whined and gripped into the stairs of the slide so I wouldn't be able to pull him away.

"But you have to. Come on."

He eventually let go of the stairs and began walking next to me. I knew where his house was, vaguely though. I knew a shortcut that would lead us straight to the train station, which was less than five minutes away from Noah's house.

"Is the sky spinning?"

"No, you're drunk."

"No, I'm Noah."

"Oh God." I laughed.

We walked down the stairs and into the long tunnel that was very poorly lit and that I wouldn't have gone through if I were alone in a million years.

There were a lot of people walking through it though, and some homeless men sleeping on the ground.

"Wait." Noah said after a while of walking and abruptly stopped, startling me.

"What?"

"How are you going to get home?"

"I'll call myself a taxi or something, don't worry."

"But what if the driver rapes you and leaves you in a ditch?"

"I don't think that will happen."

"You never know."

"Stop being so pessimistic and always expecting the worst."

He sighed and leaned against the wall, before sliding down to the ground. I rolled my eyes and did the same. Apparently he was in the mood for a smoke, even though he was drunk and would throw up any time.

"I'm not pessimistic. I'm realistic."

"Then why do you always expect the worst in people? Why are you never happy about things?"

"A pessimist is just sad, while the realist can be both. I just chose to be sad rather than happy."

"Why? Happiness is so much better."

"Why I prefer being sad? It's because sadness is constant, it never ends, and I got used to it. I don't have any expectations from sadness, I just accept it and that's it. But happiness...happiness is temporary. Even when I'm at my high, my peak of happiness, there's always going to be a little part of me that knows it will come to an end, and it eventually does. And the fall, that sudden change from pure happiness to utter sadness, that hurts the most, because I realize that I spend more time trying to be happy than actually being happy. It hurts, a lot. So I just settle for sadness. I stopped getting excited over things, because they always come to an end. I'm not self-centered or superficial; I just want to avoid getting hurt. Because no one did that for me when I was younger."

I stared at him, with the intense desire to kiss him. But his lips were occupied by a half smoked cigarette.

"You're honest when you're drunk."

He shook his head and snorted, turning his head to look at me.

He shook his head as he smiled, and then suddenly pressed me against the nearest wall.

"What-" I started but he was already kissing me.

It took me by surprise, so I didn't even have time to take my hands out of my pockets before his tongue met mine.

"What are you doing?" I panted into his mouth and he shrugged.

"I'm always honest when I'm drunk."

"What do you m-"

He interrupted me once again with his lips and I knew I should've felt guilty for kissing him while being with Luke, but I didn't even know where I was with him. Were we broken up? It was our first fight ever.

When he pulled away, his mouth was wet all around and so was mine, also bitten by his insistent teeth.

"We should um-yeah. Go." I stuttered and he nodded, stepping back as if nothing happened.

We arrived at my house a bit after eleven, and my parents were already up in their bedroom so no interrogation occurred.

"Shhh." I shushed Noah when he tripped as he walked up the stairs and began laughing.

He placed his hand over his mouth and I guided him to my room with no incidents.

"I'll go ask Jade if she has a spare toothbrush. You stay here and do NOT move our touch anything."

"Can I play with the cat?"

"No. Yes. Just don't-whatever."

I left him alone in my room and quickly went to knock on Jade's door, but then opened it anyway because she was probably listening to music too loud.

"Hey Kat-oh. OH. Shit. Sorry." I said when I saw what was going on in her bed. I quickly closed the door and returned to my room, closing my door and leaning against it.