Baby I'm A Sinner novel Chapter 61

I pull away and he sighs, before stepping back. "Want to go out on the balcony for a smoke?"

"I'm nearly naked."

"So am I, but my balcony faces the backyard."

I agree eventually, so we both walk out on his balcony. He lights out both of our cigarettes at once, and then blows out the smoke in my face.

I remember him telling me that blowing smoke in someone's face meant that they wanted to fuck that certain person, so I smile and look at his covered-up pool.

He starts talking about the student exchange trip we're going on in a week, and how we're supposed to get the letters from our partners on Monday. As he talks, I can't help but travel my eyes all over his body.

He's too beautiful to put in words.

Then I notice the faint while lines on the insides of his wrists, almost unnoticeable if you didn't stare hard enough. My stomach drops and I swallow.

But I know enough to know that I shouldn't bring them up unless he feels comfortable enough to talk to me about them on his own.

He comes up behind me to press his chest to my back and kiss the back of my neck.

"I can't wait for your birthday." He whispers, his cigarette almost burning out by the wind. It's cold outside, but he suddenly makes me warm, and I love that.

And before I realize what I'm even thinking, I realize that I am actually falling for Noah Hudson. Someone I never thought I'd fall for. Ever.

After we finish the cigarettes we go back inside and get into his bed. He turns on the TV and puts on a movie on Netflix to pass the time until we finally have to get out of bed and get ready.

Of course these actions don't go by without some touching here and there, and some heavy making out sessions.

"It's half past six, and we have to be there at nine so I suggest we start getting ready." He whispers into my hair and I jolt awake, not having realized that I had fallen asleep on him during the movie. The credits are rolling now and I have pathetically drooled on his chest.

I have great seduction skills, of course.

"I'm going to take the shower in Elliott's room so you'll feel more comfortable here."

"Alright, thanks."

We both get out of bed.

"Uh." I blush, thinking about what I'm going to ask him. He turns his head just as he's about to leave the room, curious. "Do you have like, a razor and shaving cream?"

"Yeah. It's in the cupboard above the sink."

"Okay, thanks."

Then he leaves, and I also enter his bathroom to shower, shave, and then put some makeup on that he gave me from his mother. I am really careful in applying everything on though, since they are all Chanel, YSL, or MAC products, which cost probably more than everything I own put together.

When I come out of the bathroom, it's half past eight and Noah is applying cologne in the full-length mirror. His hair is up in a quiff, and he's wearing a jean vest, white V-neck, jeans, and colorful Vans. He looks amazing, as per usual.

"You don't mind me borrowing your jersey, right?" I ask him as I join him in the mirror to look at myself from all angles.

"Of course not."

He finishes spraying himself with cologne, and then puts it on his dresser.

"You ready?"

"Yeah. Let me grab my phone and then we can go."

He shakes his head and I can see that he has tears in his eyes.

"I just- I know I don't have any right to be mad about it because I've turned him down in the past." He starts. "But I can't believe he's moved on."

"You always told me that you didn't know who to choose when it came to Eleanor and him. I think it's good that he moved on, because he made the choice for you and you now have the chance to focus on your relationship with Eleanor. She deserves it."

"They both deserve it," he agrees, hanging his head and exhaling smoke.

"Exactly."

"It's just going to be hard to get used to. And I need to come clean to Eleanor about everything until I can finally have a serious thing with her."

I nod in agreement. "You're going to tell her about kissing me too?"

"No, she doesn't mind me kissing other people if it's just friends and nothing more. Sex however is more intimate and important to her."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Lucas sighs, throwing his cigarette over the railing. He turns to face me and I step forward, hugging him. He hugs me, and we break apart when it gets too cold.

"So now you have to tell me about Noah." He gushes as he guides me back inside.

"Oh, where do I even start." I smile and he laughs, and I'm happy that he's taking the news much better than I'd expected him to.

***

We find ourselves in the airport parking lot of the airport a week later; sleep deprived and excited to travel all the way to Poland, and then to France. Since Mr. White had been fired and there was no one to accompany Mr. Andrews on the trip to Poland next week, they've decided to join the two exchanges and pick 50% of the students from each exchange and to France and Poland too.