Can't Get Near The Alpha King novel Chapter 19

He moves closer to me, he's now standing behind me, his hand hesitantly touching my scarred skin. His fingers trace the marks, starting at my shoulder blades then gradually down to the end of my back.

His fingers linger longer on the scar on my left shoulder blade, it's a unique and precise mark as the gang decided anyone they had under their hold would bear their mark.

It's the infinity sign with a sword going through the middle all within a band encased with thorns - I wish I could remove it and I guess that was their wishes.

I turn to face Ben and look anywhere but his eyes, embarassed at my past - it shows weakness.

To my surprise Ben gently grabs my hands and turns himself round so now I'm facing his back.

"Look." He says in a gentle voice and I raise my eyes slowly and mirror Ben's gasp with my own.

His back is covered in pink marks, like mine, travelling similarly from the blades to the bottom of the back. I trace my fingers over his and then my eyes look to his left shoulder blade and I take a step back, my mouth widen open.

He turns around, his eyes searching mine for a reaction and I say quietly, "You were there as well..."

adella pov -

I look up at Ben with wide eyes, I take a few unsteady steps back and repeat those words in a small voice, "You were there..."

He stands there, his face void of any emotion, his eyes soften a bit at the corners at seeing my unstable state.

The past brings back memories that I want to forget, permanently. It makes me remember how weak I was, how foolish I was.

My parents, my sister, my abusers - all of them I can't think about. If I think about one then all of the memories come flooding in, always unwanted.

Sometimes the memories become unbearable and I resort to methods of trying to get rid of them - pain, isolation, pleasure, whatever I feel is suiting me at the time.

I look intently back at Ben, not knowing what to say.

"Are those the only scars you have?" Ben questions, referring to my back - I hesitate but shake my head, signalling a no.

He tilts his head to the side slightly and furrows his eyebrows, thinking of other places where the scarring could affect - I decide to put him out of his misery.

"Back, stomach and upper thighs." I say quietly but loud enough for him to hear. I take this opportunity to put my top back on, I then move a few yards to the left and sit down - my back pressing up against the hard, unforgiving bark.

Ben slowly walks towards me and plonks himself down next to me, we both stay silent - listening to the nature around us.

I run for miles, for the first few I felt Ben a little behind me but I haven't heard him recently, obviously getting the message and deciding to let me have my space.

I howl up into the sky, my emotions roaring through my loud cry: sadness, pain, grief.

My howl echoes through the forest, the birds hurriedly scuttling into the sky, the small animals running to their minuscule, hidden homes.

Instantly I feel people trying to enter my mind from the mindlink, most prominently Ashton and Blake.

I feel Ashton's noticeable presence in my mind, trying to enter but I put up a block that prevents him from feeling and seeing my emotions and thoughts.

I can't allow him to see what I'm thinking, all of my thoughts are what happened - an accumulation of depressing and vulgar images.

I run for ages, I reach pack boarder and cross it without a second thought, needing complete and utter space.

I keep running, still knowing my surroundings as I'm gaining closer to the small, dainty little town called 'Ballinacarrow'. As I reach the town I discreetly head to a unique western red cedar tree, I always have clothes and some money stashed subtly around it - as if anyone needs to get into the town after shifting then they will have something.

I quickly shift and put on black ripped jeans, grey oversized jumper and nude flats along with fifteen dollars. I walk into the town, not many people know me here as the pack land is around an hour drive into the mountains and they don't usually go there - an unspoken rule.