From Friend To Mate novel Chapter 33

Jason was a bit taken back after hearing the small boy's voice after so long, but what he remembered was now just a memory and the man who he longed for every second of everyday was now next to him in the car.

He felt awful for what he did.

Thinking About it now if It were worth it, he'd say no.

Those years away from Felix was the hardest in his life. Being away from his life partner. But he had to. In order for them to be possible.

To exist without that fear that one day Felix would be hurt. Because of him. He sensed how Felix wasn't in the mood and this wasn't going to be easy.

"We're home." Jason didn't want to waste any time.

He'd already waited so long however he didn't really think this through to consider how Felix would feel about this. he got too excited and the thought left his head. Felix's face scrunched up in disbelief as he looked at Jason who stared down at him, his eyes empty.

"Are you crazy?" he asked looking into his eyes.

The tears on his cheek were apparent even though they were dried up and only then did it really hit Jason.

He knew this would be hard on Felix, but he always thought that he'd be able to get over it.

He underestimated Felix's feelings for him and ended up hurting him the most.

His hands slowly move towards Felix's. Cupping his.

However, Felix instantly retracted his hands. Jason's face fell. Normally he'd get angry and just lash out but at this moment he knew why Felix felt this way. He understood and he was able to act in a way to not dig their relationship in an even deeper hole.

Thanks to his uncle that is.

"Felix- "

"No." Felix said, cutting him off. The sadness in his eyes amplified as he started at Jason.

The memories and feelings all came flooding into him.

Them damn brown eyes he thought.

"You don't get to say anything," he continued. "You promised."

He said a sob escaping his lips. He tried to hold it in so much, but it was just too much. Everything hurt so much at that moment.

Jason was silent. He seriously didn't know what to say at the moment. There was so much in his head. He wanted to say. Felix, I thought about you every second I didn't want to leave but I did it for your own good, so that i'll never hurt you again. But all that came out was

This was enough for now.

Previously

This was enough. He took a deep breath leaning back on the car.

This was enough for now.

That night in order to not cause any confusion Felix stayed over and slept on the bed while Jason slept on the couch. He wanted to go back home, however it was already quite late.

That night all sorts of thoughts ran through Jason's head. He was reflecting on his trip. What he'd learnt. Towards the end of his stay over in Detroit he noticed something.

He'd only ever heard it once but it was there.

there seemed to constantly be a presence in his mind and the way he learned to be in control of himself was to tame that presence. In doing so he was able to stay true to himself but the possibility of that person coming out still was a scary thought.

Jason knew he was strong enough to restrain it. It was before long until both of the men fell asleep with their locked-up feeling residing in their hearts.

That morning Jason woke up to a knock on the door. He jumped up from the couch and instantly made his way to his bedroom hoping to see Felix there. He was disappointed that he noticed that he wasn't here anymore.