Her Silent Revenge novel Chapter 123

"Me, I'm going to figure this shit out before it drives me crazy. Exactly what happened, blow by blow, every scrap of evidence I can get." He folds his arms, but then he forces a smile for my benefit. "Maybe someday, we'll laugh this off like Mom does after I nearly drowned that summer."

I can't do this. Mentioning his mother brings back all the memories of being in her house. Being welcomed into his family like I deserve to be a part of them.

Honestly, I don't even deserve this rock of a man sitting here who made me food, much less the people he loves.

I don't deserve him.

All my previous resentment dissolves into a hollow ache in my chest that promises to drown me in numbness if I just push hard enough.

"I'm going to tell Arlo you're his dad. You'll always be in his life," I blurt out. "Whatever happens. I wanted to tell you that earlier, before everything blew up with him getting sick."

Patton frowns, switching his attention from his empty bowl to my face. "What do you mean whatever happens? What's about to happen, Salem?"

I look down.

I never meant to do this, but the words are boiling up, scalding my throat. I sigh.

"I know you don't believe me when I say I'm bad luck. But look at us. Look at this. Look where I live. None of this would've happened if you'd just stayed away from me."

"Don't start that shit again."

"I'm no good for you—no good for your family." "And you think that's your decision?" he asks coldly.

"Isn't it?" I fire back. "Your family is super kind, Patton. I… I've never had that. Probably for a reason."

"Bull. Shit," he spits both syllables. "You don't get to make that call." "But it's my choice. If I think it's better we go our separate ways,

well…" It's so hard to swallow around the sadness lodged in my throat.

"Like hell." He glares at me, burning away the warmth that usually sparks in his eyes when he looks at me. "Where the fuck are you right now, Salem Hopper? Where is this coming from? You can't let one brutal mishap blow everything apart."

"I'm thinking about the boating thing in the Ozarks," I say. "I'd like to start over if… if Arlo seems well enough, that is."

Patton freezes. Hurt sweeps across his face, wilting the anger so fast I almost miss it.

Big mistake.

I shouldn't have spilled my guts like this. Not in the middle of an argument while my son is sick, especially when I'm not really sure about anything.

But my brain and my heart are scrambled eggs.

He just turns, looks at me one last time, and gently shuts it in my face. But I fly after him, wrenching it open again.

"Wait, come back!" My voice bounces off the empty stairway as he runs down two steps at a time. My legs are shaking too much to chase after him. "Patton, please. Not like this…"

But it's too late and it's my own stupid fault.

My knees finally give out as the killing truth sinks in.

I fall on the steps, shoulders shaking as I cry, every bitter emotion I'd been suppressing flooding the surface as the sound of Patton's footsteps slowly fade into a biting wind.

PATTON

I waste about an hour, mindlessly driving around Kansas City in a windstorm before I'm calm enough to go back to Mom's.

I should have fucking known she'd self-destruct.

A few weeks in paradise can't overcome a lifetime of trauma at the hands of her asshole parents.

I'm strong, but I can't keep her together.