His Incurable Omega novel Chapter 45

Me, however.

I cringed at the wave of patience and yet sadness that seemed to pulse in the back of my mind.

I didn't love him.

It made me think hard as I recovered in bed, waiting for the effects of the poison to pass, but what was love really? I couldn't come up with an answer. And Alto could not describe my own feelings to me. They were mine alone to interpret.

Thought I cared for him, would feel a rip within my soul if he left me- I still did not love him.

Love, I realized, did not come as naturally to me. I did not accept the bond as easily as Alto had. I had questioned him, me, us. I still did.

I felt weak, as I watched his steady black eyes roam the room, but I didn't have the confidence to think that fate could put me in so lucky a situation.

Instead, I questioned her also, wondering why me.

And then I felt loathing. A small dark seed inside of me that hated the fact that I could not have more confidence in myself. That, even though I had the assurance of the bond and of Alto's feelings, I still felt in some small way, that I was being tricked and lied into something, only to have the rug pulled out from my legs at any moment.

I wanted to love Alto. And maybe I did in my own small way. But since both our loves were comparable now to each other, I felt the overwhelming pressure and crushing sensation that I was not enough.

Alto's hand reached out and grabbed mine as my thoughts turned darker.

"Fayette," he said. He reached out and kissed the back of my hand, immediately calming my whirlwind of emotions down.

I relaxed within my chair, still clinging to his hand like it was my anchor.

Elden, walked in then, leading Lizzy and Jane. This was our small counsel- our band of trusted people. I was surprised when Alto wanted to gather them and even more surprised when he said not to include Gavin.

"Prince August," Jane said, giving a small bow.

Lizzy rolled her eyes at the formality but held her tongue. The air around was already set in a serious silence when they had entered.

The sat around the table, each finding a chair they were comfortable in.

"Straight to the point then," Elden said, "The Princess is not safe here."

I felt agreement and anger course through Alto. His face, however, was blank, showing to none what his true feelings were.

"The investigation led to nothing. I've hit a dead end, so has Lizzy and Jane. We can't find any way of knowing how and who poisoned the Princess."

Lizzy and Jane nodded sadly at the words.

"But if I leave, what if whoever did this follows me?"

Alto and Elden look at each other.

They already have a plan, I thought.

"Fayette. You know you are suppose to go through physical training and then go to the academy?"

I nodded, not wanting to hear what was coming.

"I have talked to the Queen. She has managed to convince the King that it is within your best interest to go to the Academy early and then start the year there."

I let go of Alto's hand as the look of hurt crosses his features, one he was not able to hide from the others.

"You didn't think to ask me?" I said.

Alto's face went blank again, but I felt the shock clearly within the bond. He didn't think I would protest. He didn't think I would have any complains if it was in the name of my safety.

"If I go, I'm taking Lizzy and Jane with me," I said, real anger coming through me now. I had never been angry at Alto before. But now I was. Now I pushed my emotions through him in the bond and watched as he flinched.