Hitched & Hitched Again: A Comedy of Marital Mayhem novel Chapter 1349

Winona hesitated for a few more seconds, but eventually, she got up and walked over.

She found Harold Huber’s memorial and gave a quick bow.

“Harold, don’t blame me, all right? Your grandson told me to grab these. I’m just the messenger here. If you’re upset, go haunt him, not me, okay?”

She muttered a bit more to the photo before she dared to move.

She grabbed two bottles of liquor and, on a whim, snagged two fresh glasses as well. Only after sneaking back to Keaton did she bother to check what she’d actually taken.

One look and her hands literally shook.

“Holy crap—Pappy Van Winkle Reserve and a bottle of limited-edition Russian Standard Gold?!” she gasped.

Winona stared at the bottles, then at Keaton. “Are you sure you want to drink these?”

Just a quick Google would tell you—each bottle could buy you a house in the suburbs!

Keaton, totally unfazed, just grinned. “That’s right. Tonight, we drink the good stuff. Open ’em up!”

Winona swallowed hard, set the bottles aside, and went to grab the takeout they’d ordered.

She hadn’t forgotten their main goal tonight.

“Drinking on an empty stomach is a bad idea. Let’s eat something first.”

As she unpacked the food—burgers, fries, and a couple slices of pizza—she suddenly remembered the stone.

“Oh, right! Nearly forgot—official business!”

Winona carefully pulled out the jade stone. “Isn’t this yours?”

Keaton looked it over and nodded. “Yeah, that’s it. How’d you get it back from Zane?”

“He was starving and thirsty. I told him—no stone, no water. You might want to check it, though. If anything goes wrong with it later, don’t blame me.”

Keaton gave it the once-over and handed it back. “Looks fine. You keep it for now.”

Winona tucked the stone away, gently, and left it on the edge of the bed. “I’ll just leave this here for you, okay?”

“Works for me.”

There was a makeshift little table beside Keaton’s old creaky bed. Winona set the takeout on it.

Keaton lay on his stomach; she sat cross-legged. They dug in together.

This time, Keaton actually ate—a lot.

“Told you, didn’t I? Marriage is a trap! If you don’t want your heart broken, just don’t get married!”

“Look at Elysia and Tarquin. They’re happy now, but before? It was a total disaster for both of them.”

“And you—almost lost your life over it!”

“As for me, I’m never getting married. I don’t care who tries to make me—never gonna happen!”

Winona, even drunker, slid down to the floor, leaning against the bed frame and slapping the wooden boards for emphasis.

“I’m with you! Who needs marriage? I’m done getting hitched. From now on, I’m a proud member of the singles club!”

“I’m learning from you. I’m going full anti-marriage!”

Keaton was thrilled, like she’d just recruited a disciple. She raised her glass for a toast.

“Damn right! Live your life, have fun, don’t let anyone tie you down! Here’s to the single life—cheers!”

She waved the flag of singlehood with pride, giving Winona a passionate lecture on the joys of never getting married.

Digging themselves into a hole, one hilarious toast at a time.