In Bed With Her Shithead Boss (By Ellie Wynters) novel Chapter 328

"Will it?" Keira asked, unable to keep the bitterness from her voice. "Because from where I'm sitting… well, standing, it seems like it's only getting worse. Yesterday, a woman at the children's hospital actually asked me why Prince Alexei would choose 'someone like me' when there were so many suitable royal matches available."

Blair's eyes flashed with anger. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing." Keira laughed hollowly. "What could I say? There are a dozen women with royal blood who would be better at this than I am."

"That's bullshit," Blair said firmly. "Alexei chose you because he loves you, not because you can curtsy properly…"

"But like I said maybe love isn't enough. Not for this life. Not for Alexei." Keira looked down at her engagement ring, the sapphire catching the light. "Maybe I'm being selfish by staying when I'm so clearly wrong for him."

Sutton leaned forward, her expression fierce. "Keira Warner, listen to me. This isn't you. The Keira we know, and love wouldn’t be talking like this."

Keira felt the tears sliding down her cheeks, the dam finally breaking after days of holding herself together for the cameras, the palace staff, and, most importantly, for Alexei.

"I just don't know if I can do this," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "The kidnapping changed me. It's the only thing I can put it down to."

"What do you mean?" Blair asked gently.

Keira wiped at her tears, trying to gather her scattered thoughts. "When someone puts a gun in your face and locks you up, your choices are taken away from you. I felt thrown back to when I was eight and our parents died, and everything was taken away from us then too… our voice, our rights, our wants and needs. But more than that, our parents."

She took a shuddering breath. "I've spent my whole life building this wall around my heart to protect myself. And during the kidnapping, Alexei somehow smashed that wall down."

Sutton's expression softened. "That sounds like a good thing, Keira."

"Is it?" Keira laughed bitterly. "My smart comebacks and rudeness were protecting me from loss. And now I'm terrified all the time. Terrified of failing him, of embarrassing him, of not being enough."

"Have you talked to Alexei about any of this?" Blair asked.

Keira shook her head. "God, how can I? He's been so supportive, so patient. He keeps telling me it will get better, that the people will come around. But what if they don't? What if I'm just dragging him down?"

"That's not your decision to make," Sutton said firmly. "Alexei is a grown man who chose you. You are one of the strongest people we know. You will get through this."

"Will I? I realized something else during the kidnapping," Keira admitted quietly. "I'm not always in control of my own fate. None of us are. And that terrifies me more than anything. Because in the end, if you love someone, you might just have to let them go. Not to protect myself but to protect him."

She twisted the engagement ring on her finger, watching the sapphire catch the light. "I love him so much it physically hurts. But I don't think I'm any good for him."

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