The Alpha Assassin novel Chapter 40

I slept well that night. I focused on the lingering adrenaline as it left my body, and my exhaustion took over. Thankfully, it kept my nerves and thoughts of Ezra at bay.

I felt stiff when I woke, surprised that it was well past dawn. I hurried to get ready, but even rushing, Alice was already waiting for me when I left the bathroom.

I stifled a yawn and looked at her sheepishly. “I couldn’t sleep last night,” I explained.

She nodded in understanding and waited for me to sit and start on my hair. I had a thousand questions that bubbled up, but I suppressed them. Alice didn’t seem any different than normal, but she rarely did. I admired her steady composition her slightly aloof behavior; it was grounding, it was something I could count on in a world of uncertainty, and for the first time, I realized I was grateful to her.

“What?” she asked. I realized I was smiling at her in the mirror, but I didn’t immediately erase it, just let it fall slowly.

I blinked a few times and decided on the truth. “I was just thinking of how grateful I am to have you help me. I’ve come to count on you.” I nervously looked at my folded hands. I thought I saw a smile cross her face, but I could have been wrong.

When she was done, she opened the door to leave. A warrior was standing on the other side to escort me to breakfast. Alice took a step back as if she weren’t expecting him but opened the door wider to me.

I stood and nodded to her. I walked silently next to him down the hallway, still confused by the random assignment of guards. Was breakfast considered the most dangerous meal? There wasn’t a guard again during the day anymore. I was weighing the possibilities of last night and the effect it might have on my limited freedom when Aksala chimed in.

Is there nothing that can keep you here? - Aksala asked quietly - Keep us here.

I was struck with guilt. I never considered my wolf, her life too.

I don’t know. I never thought past their deaths. This is the first time I thought about trying to get more than just revenge by their blood, plotting for revenge past their deaths. This is the first time I’m focusing on justice for my parents, my pack. I’ve just now started thinking past their deaths - And mine, I didn’t have to add.

I want you to do what’s best for you, but you will be letting the grief consume you. You won’t be here to ensure justice, and your line's legacy lives on. You will let them win still in your death. You will let them take everything.

I fisted my hands and felt the dull prick of my nails into my skin. I blinked as I was suffocated with emotions. She was right, but they would be dead, so would it matter? They wouldn’t be here to see it.

I was struck with the thought that my entire existence had been consumed by my revenge and their death at my hands. They took everything from me, and I gave them all of me.

There is more to do here. You’ll have a pack - She continued, thankfully pulling me from those creeping dark thoughts.

A pack I will promise to another promised to another - I reminded her because essentially I had.

Just promise me you won’t end it immediately. See what happens after the challenge. You’ve worked too hard not to stick around and enjoy the outcome.

I smiled at that. She was right. I knew she knew exactly how to phrase what I would like to hear the most.

I’ll think about it - I promised, but it was hollow. I was set in my resolve.

I neared the dining room and slipped into that invisible person, the person who would be forgotten as soon as you stopped talking to her. The warrior faded away, and Omegas opened the doors. I walked in, focusing on my feet, and took my seat as quietly as I could.

Alpha Raymond seemed a bit morose, and Luna Addison’s eyes were ringed red, but she had her hair perfectly done.

No one besides Hunter seemed to be eating. Alpha Raymond took a few bites here and there, and Nolan just pushed food around his plate. Luna Addison gave up the farce of breakfast and left her plate bare.

I tentatively reached for the plate of eggs and took some sausages. The scrape of my knife and fork on my plate felt too loud in this quiet room. I took small bites, and it wasn’t until my plate was almost cleared that Alpha Raymond stood, his chair scraping against the stone floor.

“I’m going to see to arrangements,” he said.

“Should I take some broth to Dominick?” I tilted my head towards him and his mate but kept my eyes averted.

“That won’t be necessary,” Luna Addison snapped, and I jumped a little.

“Just stay out of the way,” Alpha Raymond added and turned to leave.

Luna Addison crumpled back on her chair, but I couldn’t even try to feel sorry for her. The only pang of guilt I felt was the fact that it further proved that Ezra was far too good for me. It made the difference between us even more vast. He didn’t want to kill, and I was ambivalent at best and excited at worst.

My sense of right and wrong and who I was died the day my pack did.

“You didn’t hear?” Hunter drawled, a genuinely wicked smile playing on his lips.

He’s an absolute perv, or at least he’s playing it well - Aksala growled.

He will be one of the most satisfying kills - I replied, looking down so no one could see I was talking to my wolf.

I was almost surprised by Hunter’s reaction. I thought he would be at least a bit remorseful. They were always closer and seemed to leave Nolan out entirely sometimes.

I forced myself to meet his gaze; he had a hand bandaged and a few lingering bruises, but Nolan was a lot worse. They would be healed by tonight’s challenge, I was sure, but they must have suffered some for them to still be that bad after a night of rest.

I just held Hunter’s gaze, tilting my head slightly.

“Dominick is dead,” he said, a bit of fire in his voice.

He was really the sadistic one. My mouth popped open, and I looked to Nolan and Luna Addison for confirmation.

The Luna stood and walked out without so much as a backward glance.

“It’s true,” Nolan said, “He was found with a sword through his chest.”

My eyes widened as I looked between the two of them. I made myself sit back a bit as if I were afraid of these two potential killers with only a flimsy table between us.

“Is your mom mad at you?” I asked, trying to get a sense of the story that was being told.

Hunter’s smile faltered. “Neither of us is admitting to it,” he said with a sideways glance at Nolan, who was just staring at his plate.

I thought Hunter would jump at the chance of claiming the kill, but he knew he didn’t, and maybe he was a little worried about Nolan now.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said softly, looking down and setting down my fork and knife.

I was mentally checking the timelines of the upcoming events to see it if there was a time I could sneak out of the packhouse entirely.

I had never done it before, but there were so many distractions.

“What is your response?” he asked. “I have a few suggestions,” he added.

I looked gratefully up at him. “I’m going to suggest somewhere close. I just need a few hours to think it through.”

He nodded and handed the letter back to me. “If I think of anything, I’ll put it in the book.” He glanced out the window. “I have to go meet with Nolan, but I have a question for you I’ve been meaning to ask.”

I looked up at him; my immediate feeling was icy dread. I thought he might ask about a potential future together, a potential of us becoming… well, us. But that dread was tinged with the warm betray of butterflies melting the edges of my dread.

Logically, I knew that a future together would take magic, but my emotions were quicker than my mind.

“Dominick?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Oh,” I bit my lip. Hard.

I didn’t know how it would affect a wolf or if it even would.

The texts were few and inconclusive, even about humans. Ingested versus applied to the skin. How short or long exposure would affect them? How much was needed, how warm it had to be actually to permeate the skin.

“His lotion,” I said quietly.

The lotion I found in his room that matched the scent on his fingers he made me smell. The day after my birthday when he grabbed me in the hall and told me he was masturbating to the thought of my naked body.

Anger curled, and I let it for a moment, even though he was dead.

“I put mercury in his lotion from an old thermometer in that war room in it.” His brows were raised. “It was the lotion he used to masturbate with.” I shrugged. “He brought it on himself.” I frowned slightly.

It did work; the effects were mild enough compared to what I’d read. But it made his death less satisfying, but at least he suffered beforehand, so it wasn’t a loss. “I wondered if I should have told Dominick.” I frowned. A missed opportunity.

Ezra took a step back, and my stomach curled. I was showing him just who I was now, whatever I was formed to me. Dark and twisted and sadistic and evil while he strived for all things good.

I tried to reach out to him, but he did something entirely unexpected…

He bent over and laughed. It was loud and rich and booming. I wanted to memorize that sound and replay it over and over. I couldn’t help but join it.

I felt light, and it was an addicting feeling.

He finally recovered and took a step toward me, placing his hand on my cheek. I inhaled sharply. Aksala seemed to preen and purr in my mind.

He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “You beautiful, wicked little wolf.” I couldn’t help smiling against his thumb.