The Alpha Assassin novel Chapter 47

I jumped awake to something touching my cheek, brushing what felt like my hair away. I swatted it off. It took me too long a  moment to realize it was Ezra, and I was still sitting on the floor. Opened my eyes, but they felt heavy. Too heavy. 

It took me another long minute to groggily pull myself to stand. I stretched against my sore muscles for something to do, stifling a yawn. 

Sleeping sitting up on the floor was a bad idea, I needed to stay limber. But I knew I would have gotten no sleep without Ezra’s warm, steady presence. 

“Hi,” I grumbled.

“Hi,” he said. 

I forced my eyes open to see him still sitting motionless on the long windowsill. “You look well rested,” I noted and couldn’t hide my disdain. 

He was perfect; he always was. I envied him; he was what I wished I could be. 

Half of his lips quirked up. “I rarely sleep deeply. I can get some sleep while still keeping watch,” he admitted.

“Warlock,” I muttered, and my sleepy smile echoed his as I made myself go to the bathroom. 

I was sure he would have told me of a new development, so I let myself stand in front of the warm water of the sink as it steamed around me. I couldn’t remember a time I woke up this tired; even with a few hours of sleep, my anxiety tugged at me. I felt like I was drugged, but

Aksala kept purring that it was Ezra. Either way, deep sleep did not suit me. 

I scrubbed at my puffy face and dragged a brush through my hair. When I came out, Ezra was in the same spot, entirely motionless, but his eyes trailed over me. I felt naked, but in a way that made me flush, made me a bit more awake under his fiery stare I couldn’t quite understand.

“No news,” he noted, his throat bobbed, giving away his careful composure. I fought a smile and only nodded. “I left..” he added and braced myself. “But you were safe.” I nodded again, unsure of how he could promise that, but I could take care of myself. “Some of my brothers are here,” he added slowly. 

I found my voice, but it was croaky, “For how long?” 

“They came last night. They are hidden, but watched your window. I also made sure your door was unable to be opened.” He did something that might have been a frown. “I’ll fix that now.” He jumped off the window with a slow grace that dancers would envy. 

I watched him dismantle something across my door, but my curiosity wasn’t for that. “How many?” 

“Three,” he responded. “They will not be noticed.” He paused and looked back, his shoulders sagging slightly. “I will not take chances when it comes to your safety.”

My throat felt dry, and I suddenly couldn’t say the thousand thoughts that flickered through me. 

He stood up and faced me, pinning me with his mismatched eyes. “Do you want to stay?” he asked.

“Y-yes,” I croaked, reaching for that determination I briefly felt last night. I heard distant footsteps. “Alice is coming; I’ll go to breakfast.” At least, I would do that.

“If anything happens, if you even feel a bit unsure, run toward the forest where I met you last night,” he whispered and brushed past me so quickly I didn't have a chance to turn. 

Alice knocked softly, and I composed my features haphazardly before she entered. 

“I haven’t dressed yet,” I murmured and tried to flush, but I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions. 

“Oh, that’s fine.” Alice hurried to my closet and went to grab a yellow dress, one of the ugliest I had. 

“No,” I snapped. “No,” I repeated softer and looked at my feet. “The red, please.” 

Alice helped me dress in silence. I was still unsure of the pattern of when she came here for mornings, but she seemed to do it almost daily now. 

“I wanted to tell you that Amber is safe,” she whispered so quietly I barely even caught it.

I offered her a small smile. “Good,” I said. “Thank you.” 

She nodded and left. I stood grasping the edge of my dressing table, glancing at my reflection. It didn’t matter if I was ready or not. I had to do this. I turned to grab my shoes.

“You’ll need this,” My heart lurched as I stumbled back.

 Ezra was standing there tall and steady as if he had been there the entire time. I hadn’t realized he never left. He was standing there with a wry smile, holding out a dagger to me. 

In his other hand were a few strips of black leather. “I adjusted it last night while you were sleeping,” he explained, almost sheepish. I blinked, still reeling from him appearing behind me.

“May I?” he asked, and I nodded slowly. 

He knelt in front of me and met my eyes, searching as he lifted the hem of my dress. My breath caught for an entirely different reason this time as his knuckles caressed up my legs while he pulled the fabric up. 

My breath hitched when he reached my thigh, but he didn't go further. He deftly wrapped the leather around it, tightening it gently. His fingers brushed against the strap and tried to dip between the leather and my skin, assuring it was tight. 

He paused for a minute, and when he was done, I stood motionless. There was a warmth between us when he was this close to me. 

I felt that I became him, or we became each other, possibly something new. 

My body didn’t belong to me anymore; it was entirely attuned to him. 

I felt the cool metal of the dagger against my thigh as he slipped it in place. My breath hitched; it felt so… so right.  He adjusted it one last time, the pads of his calloused fingers lingering on my skin, and the fabric of my dress slid down my leg too soon. 

He rose to stand over me and said, “In case you need to cut your way to an exit.”

I swallowed; I knew my cheeks were flushed. “I’ll bring it back to you,” I promised. 

___

“And how long have you been that person?” he asked, his voice cool. 

“Since birth.”

“How long have you been pretending?” he asked. 

I would have said the entire time, but that was a lie. Even when I left my stupor, even when I left my room, I was still a shell of a person holding onto a flicker of anger. I held onto that small flame, and it became my lifeline, the only way I knew that I was still real. Anger was the only thing that kept me here away from my insanity.

“I planned this when I was locked in my room,” I admitted; there was no reason to lie. 

He leaned back and rubbed his chin. “I see.” He looked at me and shook his head. “I would ask why, but…” he trailed off, unable to meet my eyes anymore.

“And now you are the next Alpha,” I noted. “You’re welcome, by the way.” I raised a brow; I was good at faking weakness, so why couldn’t I pull a bit more confidence than I felt at the moment?

He pursed his lips. “I never wanted the title,” he said softly.

“Never thought you would get it,” I corrected, and he snorted, looking back at me. “What?” I raised a brow in response to his incredulous look.

“Is this the real you?” he asked, “I just…”  He ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair.  “I can’t put it together.”

I sagged a bit, breathing out. “I’m unsure honestly of who I am anymore.” I clamped down on my mouth. I didn’t mean to admit that.

“I see,” he said. 

“You haven’t told anyone,” I said; it wasn’t a question. His lips formed a thin line, and he shook his head once. “Will you?” I asked, forcing myself not to avert my gaze even though my heart picked up speed at the question.

He folded his hands and leaned forward. “It depends what you are planning.” 

I snorted, shaking my head. I knew better than to hope, but part of me foolishly did. “I thought it might.”

Just then, the doors opened, and Omegas came in to clear the plates. They were quiet and worked perfectly together; it might have been beautiful if the situation had been different. They continued to bustle about and clean, knowing ranked members would never stop tier conversation on account of them. 

But this time, we had to. 

I heard his chair move as I was focused elsewhere. I glanced back at him, trying to seem impassive, bored even. “I’ll see you at the funeral,” Nolan said. His face was grim, and I stood at the same time he did.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I countered, but kept my voice even. 

I wasn’t going to goad him, not when he had the upper hand. But I was done backing down.