The Alpha Assassin novel Chapter 81

When we emerged, I was expecting it to be deep in the night. I was surprised to find it was still afternoon, I felt as if we were there for days.

I didn’t know if it were me or if the lands truly seemed brighter, more vivid as if their life was slowly being restored to them.

Nova insisted we return after we found some of her lost history, saying it was enough to know that something was waiting for her pack, her own hope reignited.

I did have a few things to deal with, things that were, for once, easy to forget.

When we returned to my packhouse, Ezra locked eyes with me, standing over his brothers. He made his way to me, searching my eyes and body before he relaxed.

“We have not buried anyone, just started to lay them together, to prepare them. I hope that is okay.” I nodded, tears filling my eyes as I saw the bones beyond, together as one pack, honored instead of left as they died, strewn about and ignored as if they were part of the furniture.

“They have not gone. They refuse to,” he murmured. “Those that bore witness.” I nodded, assuming they wanted me to address them somehow in a way I wasn’t entirely sure how.

“I’ll speak to them.” I reached a hand out to him, and he grasped mine, we walked to the front to face out pack.

I didn’t know what they wanted from me, and I could only offer them the truth, but I thought it might be a good place to start.

I stood once again on the blood-stained steps, relieved I trusted Mile’s body to be so far away. I was invigorated, at peace, heartbroken but mostly so extraordinarily tired.

Expectant faces watched me quietly.

“I do not know what to say besides the truth,” I started. “My pack was slaughtered unfairly, I have been working to enact vengeance… justice,” I corrected myself.

But I wondered if it were truly that. I could not even pretend to myself that I did not enjoy the pain I caused.

“What you might have witnessed this afternoon.” I motioned to the steps. “Was the end of the person that helped orchestrate the affair.” I paused. “The others who took part are dead.”

None of the people watching me balked.

“I did not plan to restore my pack, it was never a thought until recently. I did not know it would even be a true possibility…until you all showed up.” I felt my heart swell, and I was not expecting that.

“As much as I appreciate you, I understand your curiosity. You do not need to condemn yourself to a new pack just because of that.” I tried to smile at them.

“Furthermore, I do not want you to be here out of fear or because you think it a necessity. You will still have a place at Black River, and you will be taken care of better than you were. Each of you will be looked at as an ally to me.” There was little response from them, which unsettled me.

“If you choose to stay, there will be a lot of work to do to get this pack back to even making it liveable. I want you all to think on that.” They stood straight. “Actually, think on it,” I added.

I was tired of being anything but truthful.

I would rather be bare and honest than hide behind a shield of lies.

“I can not promise you much. I have no idea about the state of the pack, or what might be left to it. I do not know if there are any savings or income left to my family name, I do not know the condition the packhouse and lands are truly in. I do not know if this pack will grow, or how long that may take.”

“I can not promise you riches, and I will not paint a life of leisure or ease as you might want me to. But…” I looked at them all, truly looked at them as individuals.

“I can promise you that you will be treated as you should, with the respect that every single one of you deserves for being human. No matter your title, position, or background. You will be protected here, you will be safe inside this pack.”

I couldn't tell what they were thinking, they were unearthly quiet, hanging on my words.

The truth was addicting, and I wanted to bare myself to them; I wanted to be honest.

But a part of me was still worried that when they saw me for who I was, for what I was capable of now, and felt no remorse for, they wouldn't want to follow me.

“Some of your first impressions of me was what you saw here, and I wished I had an explanation that might sit well with you, but I don’t. I do not deny what I am; I might be a killer, a murderer, and you might not agree with my morals and values, but that is okay. I will not ask you to forgive me, or accept it—”

“We do not fear you," a quiet voice cut it. It seemed so loud against the crowd's silence. Tia stepped forward, wringing her hands, but her face was filled with unshed resolve. “We respect you. You are a protector.”

His calloused hands strung through my hair, grabbing the back of my neck gently until I looked up at him. “It is your pack that is helping you,” he told me.

____

It was harder to bury the bones than I thought it would be. And it had nothing to do with the limited amount of shovels or the rawness of hands and nails clawing at the hard ground as if I could lessen their pain by taking it on me.

In the hollow places where their eyes were, I saw the horror of their final moments etched there; the teeth were set, but I heard their last screams. For once, the waves of grief quelled every single part of my anger, and it was an emotion so intense, so singular, I thought I might die from it, too.

I hoped this would help me find peace as much as it did them.

___

We worked all night until the sun turned the cloudy sky gray. Ezra’s brothers, directed the pack members, including all of the Omega’s from Black River. Nolan appeared silently, working alongside us.

Later, I was unsure when, but Sam and his arrived. I was even more surprised to find Shadow Stone came; Alpha Alexander greeted me with a few words, telling me this was not part of a debt owed but done willingly and that he would still be indebted to Blood Moon. I told him I felt the same, and with that, my first official alliance was re-sealed. His men worked quietly and swiftly, but they handed the bones with such tenderness.

The werecats joined Nova, we shared a look that only the two of us could understand.

When we were done, the lands around the packhouse were surrounded by a ring of bones. I debated where to lay them, but I wanted them close and surrounding this space so they could protect us.

They were finally at peace, even though they were long gone, this was some sort of closure that I did not know I needed so badly.

I found it extraordinarily difficult to trust others with tasks, especially with one as heavy as this. But as the dawn broke, it loosened something in me.

Seeing all of them together, my new cobbled-together pack and allies helping put to rest my packs past, it started to heal me in a way I could not put to words.

I saw a future, one that I was proud to be a part of, one I could believe in.