Will Rejection Hold? novel Chapter 26

Will he still help when he realizes it's my pack he's helping? Will he think even less of me when he knows I'm with Chase... I'm not a slut. I'm still a virgin. Never have I, or will I, sleep with just anyone. Will Matt still act the same? Will he still do the things he used to?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a horn. I jumped and whirled around to see Tucker. He was sitting in a idol car.

"Hey Tucker." I walked over to him.

"Lexi, you've been gone for hours, with your block up. We were all getting worried." The worry in his eyes told me he was extremely worried. And guilt filled my gut. I didn't mean to worry anyone. I looked at the sky to see it was starting to get dark.

"I'm sorry. There's just a lot on my mind." I shook my head.

"Come on get in the car. Let's go for a little drive. Tell John you're fine through mind link. He came to the house to see you, and got worried when you weren't back after about an hour."

Hey I'm fine, I'm with Tucker now. I think we are going to eat or something. We will be back later. I relieved John, before putting up my block again. I didn't want anyone in my head right now.

"Tell me what's going on in your head, Lex." Of course that's what he wants to talk about.

"I don't want to talk about it." I looked out the window.

"Funny, you say that a lot when things seem hard on you."

"Come on Lex. Just spill your guts! I want to help you! You're like my little sister!" He pulled off onto a dirt road and stopped the car. "Tell me."

"I can't." Tears glassed over my eyes.

"You can. Tell me what first comes to mind" He edged me on.

I took a deep breath, and looked away. If I was going to tell him I can't look him in the eyes. "When my parents died I was 11 and my brother was 15. He was really angry after our parents died. Sometimes he would slap me and tell me it was my fault. I believed him. He was my big brother, my whole world. I looked up to him." I took another breath to calm my pounding heart. "And that was it until I turned 14. His hits weren't just slaps anymore. Sometimes he would grab my butt, or my boob. Randomly he would force a kiss on me. It wasn't the angry slaps anymore. No. This was fueled by evil. Sometimes at night he would sneak into my room, and I would wake up to him... to him touching me." Tears now were streaming down my face. "I couldn't tell anyone. He's my brother... He's all I have left." I tried to collect myself. "I learned to stay away at nights. I would try to come back as late as possible. The older we got the more popular he got and and the less time he had to torment me..." I furiously swiped away tears. "He stole my first kiss. He made me feel dirty and awful. He always told me how ugly I was. I always felt like a slut when he would touch me. For letting him. Believe me I tried to stop him but then he would just make it hurt more."

"I'm sorry Lex." I couldn't bring myself to turn to look at him. "You're not dirty Lexi. You couldn't help any of that. It was not your fault. You're so beautiful, and so kind."

"Thank you for making me talk about it. I actually feel kinda better having told someone."

"Welcome." He put the car into drive and started to pull off the dirt road.

"And Tucker?" I squeaked in a small voice, looking out the window.

"Yeah?" He stopped the car again, I could hear his body shift to look at me.

"Don't tell anyone please." I pleaded. He just nodded and pulled away.

I watched as the trees wizzed past. Pink flowers spotted the fields. How can such a beautiful word hold so much evil?

My thoughts were cut off by the chirp of a phone. Tucker reached over and pressed a button.