Will Rejection Hold? novel Chapter 33

LEXI'S POV

"I've never had a big brother you know. Well by blood I guess I did, but he never did the big brother stuff." We sat on the edge of the dock. I leaned back on my hands. "Thank you Tucker." I closed my eyes, and tilted my head back to the stars. Finally having relaxed after what happened in the kitchen. "Thank you for stepping in as my big brother. Thank you for being there for me." I swished my feet around in the lake.

"You're welcome, Lex." I felt him toy with the ends of my hair. We sat in a comfortable silence for awhile.

The stars shimmered above us. The trees rustled around us. The water glistened from the moon light. This was my safe place. This is were I hide. When I would hide from Matt, I would come here. I swam, and swam, and swam. I would come home with wrinkly fingers, and dripping wet hair. The water was my shield. I would go deep underwater, forgetting all the road blocks life have thrown at me.

My whole life growing up was running or swimming.

"Was he always like that?" Tucker's words rang in my mind, stopping my thoughts.

"Alex?"

"Yeah."

I looked up at the stars. I couldn't even count how many times I had laid under these same stars with my dad. Wow, seems like a million years ago. I guess it kinda was. It's been a long time since my life was normal.

"Kinda. He was never one to sugar coat things, or to offer support. I've never been close to him. He was always a bit of a bully." I thought a little further. "He didn't used to be as crazy though... I think it's alcohol..." I trailed off not exposing how much I still worried for him. Even though I don't love him, he's still my mate. And I still want the best for him.

"Or it's you." Tucker spoke thoughtfully. "You're his mate, yet you're not with him. I'm sure his wolf is killing him about it..."

I opened my eyes and looked over at him. His feet were in he water, his head turned away looking at the woods.

"He's probably in constant pain. His heart is probably breaking. He probably just wants you back. Because he loves you. And he regrets his decision." He sounded so hurt. As though he was talking from experience.

"Tucker..." He looked over at me. "Do you have a mate?"

His eyes lost focus on mine. Thought clouded over his eyes.

"I did...." He nodded.

"Can I ask what happened?" I whispered.

His eyes came back into focus with mine. "I rejected her." His voice was cold, and hard. His eyes sharp and dark.

She's right. I can't. I made a decision. I should stand by it. Me changing my mind only hurts her even more. But god it's hard.

Why do I want to cry ever time I see her beautiful smile, and know it's not caused by me?

'Why do you have to lash out!' My wolf scolded. 'Why can't you just love her!'

"I do love her." I growled harshly. I love her more than anything! That's why it makes me so mad! How can she be happy with him? Why can't I make her happy like that? She's not weak anymore. I'm honestly starting to doubt if she ever was... or if I was just scared. I should've accepted her from the begging. Now it's too late.

'No you don't! You wouldn't lie to her! You wouldn't call her hurtful names and make jabs at her! You know damn well she's perfect! She's strong and beautiful. She is a Luna. Born Luna.' He paused letting it sink in, 'You wouldn't touch her like that.' He howled at me.

I shook my head, and push myself up. "Screw you!"

I got up, and walked over to the liquor cabinet. I pulled out the old whiskey my dad always hid.

"Just another, wonderful night." I muttered before gulping down the burning drink.