A Mistake Mate novel Chapter 48

Marking her was the most intimate feeling there is, its indescribable. Feeling our bond strengthen as my teeth sunk into her neck was so amazing, so incredible, that I knew right then and there that I was head over heels in love with Paisley Conner.

The thought has been bouncing around in my head for the past week, since our date, and I can't seem to shake it. I know that Paisley and I are a new couple but lets be honest here, I was pretty much in love with her when I first laid my eyes on her all those weeks ago.

I keep trying to convince myself to tell her, to just say it already, but I can't seem to get the words out. It's almost like I'm afraid to tell her. It's not the fact that she might not return the feelings that gets to me, it's me.

I've never been one for commitment, obviously. I've never had a girlfriend, it's always been hump then dump them, so the idea of putting my heart out on the line, being completely vulnerable, scares me. The idea scares me so much that I've been holding off on telling Paisley how I really feel.

Now as I sit in the lunch room, surrounded by my mate and her friends, I can't help but to feel angry with myself. I watched with conflicted eyes as Paisley, Perrie, Lela and Seth all sat laughing like the good friends that they were.

I had decided to sit with them because the thought of being away from Paisley for a second longer then I had to was distasteful. My hand was intertwined with Paisleys much smaller one and sat on the table. I repeatedly ran my thumb across her smooth skin while I stared at her beautiful features.

Her dark hair was strung down her shoulders and her bright blue eyes shined when she laughed. My mark sat proudly on her shoulder and every time I look at it I cant help but to smile. I could feel a fraction of Paisleys happiness through the partly formed mate bond and I knew that she could feel mine as well.

It was still strange and took some getting used to but I loved feeling Paisleys emotions. She had only been marked for six days but I already couldn't stand to be away from her for to long and I knew that once we completed the bond that it would get worse.

"Are you alright Xander?" Paisley questioned as she turned her attention to me. I blinked and tried to lift a smile to my face but it failed to reach my eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied when the truth was that I was still upset with myself, upset because I am a coward who can't say what he feels. Paisley frowned, obviously noticing the lie that had come out of my mouth.

I leaned forward and enclosed her hand in mine, tugging her towards me and towards the double doors. I heard her throwing words over her shoulder to her friends but I continued to move along. We walked in silence down the hall and towards the girls' locker rooms, we both have gym next.

When we arrived in front of the stairs that would lead up to the locker room I released Paisleys hand and took a step away from her.

"I'll see you inside." I spoke quietly before turning to walk away, even though I had no intention of going to this class. I know that I'm being extremely rude but I need some time to myself right now, some time to grow some balls and stop being such a little girl.

I heard Paisleys quiet sigh behind me before her footsteps began to follow after me. I prayed that she would just let me walk away, because I really don't want to continue to hurt her feelings with my bad mood, but she wrapped her small hands around my bicep and pulled me to a stop.