After My Death, My Husband Who Threw Me Into the Hunting Grounds Went Insane novel Chapter 144

JULIA

It was an arranged marriage," he began, then wiped his mouth with a napkin. We were sitting at The Bistro. 

"What happened?" I said, then ate a portion of my orecchiette.

"I was depressed back then because of Demi and Henry, and my father was ill as well. Bianca is the daughter of a family friend. They wanted us to get married for business, of course, and no questions asked—I married her. She was sweet, responsible, and she cared for me. Those were the times, I thought she was different. Though it was my father's last wish, I married her because she also needed my help. She was broken like me. Her boyfriend left her when she was pregnant with his child. She couldn't tell anyone about it."

"Let me guess, you told them the baby was your child?"

He curtly nodded.

"Oh, God. That's so heroic of you." Every day this man never ceased to shock me with his revelations, and my heart sank knowing that he actually loved her. "Then what happened? Your relationship sounds like it was working so well, but you still got divorced?"

"She left." He let out a disappointed smirk and stopped moving his utensils. I swallowed the food in my mouth.

"Where did she go?"

"She left with her child's father. For the second time, I was broken."

"Because you loved her."

There was a long pause on his end. "Yes."

"So, let me guess. Bianca is the tall, blonde, supermodel type."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because it's true, and I can't help but think about it." I blew out the most prolonged sigh I could ever breathe. I thought he doesn't do the love thing. What was that all about then? "Alright. She left you. But why are her friends trying to make a fuss about it?"

"She's back, and she's trying to reach me," he confessed.

I choked. "She what?"

"Julia…" Adam held my hand. "I don't want her back—not after what she did, leaving only the divorce papers with her signature. I almost lost myself chasing and stalking her. I was pathetic," his voice tensed.

"Hold on a sec. You did that?" I chuckled in sheer disbelief. The Adam Cavendish I knew never chased and stalked a woman. He only dated a fling for a week or two, then he'd send goodbye gifts and flowers. "I don't know what to say. I'm dazed."

"I was different in the past."

"I think so too," I agreed, nodding, "but you told me you love me, right? You had a habit of falling in love!" I let out, confident of my statement. "Now you are afraid of falling for someone, so you'll just move on to the next before it's too late."

His forehead creased, his expression defeated. "I never thought of that, but I've always known that this day would come," he mumbled. "That you'll find out how I really am."

"There's something more I want you to tell me," I said. "You told me you don't do love."

"I don't, at least after my two failures, and before all of this... before us. You know how I am, Julia. We don't need to elaborate that," he said firmly. "And you are the only woman I kept by my side because you were safe. You were my assistant, and I don't fuck my staff."

"Technically, you still didn't, and you think I was safe because I'm not your type."

He reached for my hand again and pressed my wrist with his thumb. "But you still bewitched me," he whispered, and his eyes darkened. "And the only reason I still haven't taken you to my bed is that you're not ready."

 I almost choked, unable to speak for a moment. I cleared my throat. "Why do you keep saying that? I told you I even lost my virginity to a stranger."

"You're not. You don't feel the way I do."

My lips parted. It wasn't that I didn't feel the same. I was still in the process of figuring out what I really felt for him. Not to mention, I knew how women threw themselves at him every day—women to his tastes. I didn't even know about his ex-wife! He didn't tell me about her until I found out about it from someone else. In short, there was still a lot to know about him without falling in love too quickly.

"It's not that I don't... really."

He leaned forward. "You are not listening. You should know that I love you too much. It's not good. It's the same reason why my ex-wife left. I have obsessive behaviors, Julia," he said in a low, tight voice. "I can be very possessive and controlling, but none of this was my choice. It's how I do things. You are not ready for someone like me. You still need more time to know me. I know I am asking too much from you, but this is my way to make this work."

I gawked at him. I didn't know what to say. "You said it's like some kind of disease. It's just the way you are, Adam. I don't think this is the reason why she left you."

His expression turned confused. He leaned back in his seat. "I don't think you understand what I just told you."

"No. It's your ex-wife, I don't understand. Because all I see here is, you gave your everything to her, and she still left you."

He smirked. "You must think so highly of me."

"Adam, you are blinded by this mistake—or so you thought, but you can't see hers. She doesn't care about you, and she sounded more like a selfish whore than a proper wife," I whispered harshly. I was so pissed. How could he blame himself? Did he still care for her?

Adam didn't answer, but he was shaking his head. I probably said too much.

"I'm hungry for attention," I continued, trying to avert the subject. "I want to be possessed and to be consumed." I shrugged, then I looked up at him. "I want to experience all of that."

He blinked, looking a little amused. "I think I've underestimated you, Ms. Taylor," he said, then a playful smile curved on the sides of his lips.

***

"Mr. Cavendish's office, may I help you?" I grabbed a stick-on note and a pen.

"Hello," a smooth male voice spoke on the other line. "May I speak with Ms. Taylor, please? This is Dominic Grant."

I rolled my eyes. What did he want this time?

"Speaking. What is it, Mr. Grant?"

"Oh, thank God, it's you. How are you?"

"What can I do for you, Mr. Grant?" I responded in the same tone, ignoring what he had said.

"Relax. I just want to know if you're alright. I'm sorry about what happened at the villa."

Apparently, I didn't want to talk about the villa. "It's fine. What else do you need?" I snapped.

I heard him sigh. "Is Adam there?"

"He's here. I'll transfer the call to his desk."

"No! Wait. Let's talk first. I feel like I need to apologize. I'm still responsible. I shouldn't have taken the girls there."

"I wouldn't have known about it if it wasn't for them, but I'm not going to thank you for that."

"I guess I know now why Adam likes you." He chuckled. "By the way, I need to speak to you about the project with Blue Pixies. They need the design on Friday morning before they sign the contract next week. Could you have someone send the printed designs for me by tomorrow? I'm flying to Ireland to see their contractor on Wednesday."

"Oh, right. I'll have it delivered to you this afternoon. I need to speak to the architect. Is there anything else, Mr. Grant?"

He laughed softly. "You need to practice calling me by my first name."

I grunted. "I've been calling you Mr. Grant ever since I started working here."

"Are you still in a cold war with Adam?"

"We're fine now. We already talked. If you don't need anything else, I'm going to hang up."

"Why are you so angry with me?"

"Look, Dominic. I don't like to act like your friend. You know everything about Adam and his ex-wife and his ex-wife's friends. It is weird to get along with you because I was humiliated. Let's remain professional. I even heard you say, ‘Don't mind her or whatever.' What was that supposed to mean?" I rambled, almost lost my breath.

"Is that what you are mad about? I'm talking about Bianca. She was trying to reach Adam that day."

"So what? You're still in touch with her? How convenient."

I had no time for this nonsense talk. He was unbelievable. I stood up and marched away, but I felt his footsteps behind.

"Come here!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the pantry. He brought me into his office and shut the door. He narrowed his eyes on me.

"I didn't treat you like that. I still want you, and that's true." He slammed his hand on the wall, pressing his chest against mine. "I still want you, and don't lie to me that you don't want this." He cupped my face and kissed me. I couldn't breathe. I was trying to press my mouth closed, but he slid his hand on my thigh.

This is wrong!

"No!" I screamed, then pushed him away. He stepped back.

"I'm—"

"You don't want to do this!" I began to cry.

He ran his fingers on his hair harshly. "I'm sorry, Julia. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I fell on my knees. This was all my fault. I started everything. I thought I could finally have my closure with him, but I was wrong. I only made it worse.

Henry lowered himself and wiped my tears with his thumb. "Don't cry. I'm so sorry," he whispered. He kissed my forehead lightly.

"What the fuck is going on?!" a voice abruptly thundered across every corner of the room. 

My eyes grew wide.

Adam! I stood immediately. Henry stepped up.

"Adam, we were just—" Adam threw a punch at his brother's face, and he fell to the ground.

"Shut up! I'm not finished with you!" He marched towards me, grabbed my hand, and dragged me out of the room. I tried to jerk away, but he looked at me—giving me a ‘Don't Fuck with Me' look as the people whisper around the hallway. He pulled me into the elevator and pressed the floor to his office.

"Adam, you don't understand."

"Right, I don't." A trace of disgust lingered on his lips. We stepped out of the elevator as it opened. "Are you still going to do this with my brother, is that it?" he questioned as he pushed me inside his office. "You still can't choose between us?"

"No!" I shot back. "You are misunderstanding something here, Adam. I don't know how to explain it, but that is not what's happening!"

"Don't deny it. I saw it with my own eyes. It is all clear to me now. You still want him. I thought you were different," he gritted through his teeth.

"How can you even say that?" I said incredulously. My heart skipped every other beat as he looked at me as if he was disgusted.

"So what is it then? You're just fucking him?"

I slapped him. That was it. I couldn't take this anymore. "How could you?" I mumbled. "Aren't you communicating with your ex-wife?"

Adam touched his face, and his eyes widened at me in confusion. "What are you saying? I didn't—"

"Dominic told me. He said you're still answering her call."

"Answered," he corrected. "There's a difference, and don't change the subject on me," he said sternly.

I stepped away. "You know what? This is all fucked-up. We don't trust each other anymore, and I'm tired of that, Adam." I shook my head. "I can't do this anymore."

"So what, you're breaking up with me?" He walked towards me, but I stepped away.

"Don't come any closer."

He stopped, his expression tortured and his gray eyes burning.

"I think we need space—no, I think I need to be alone for a long time." I took off my ID and handed it to him. "I don't need this anymore, and please don't follow me. I won't answer you."

I tore my gaze away from him and exited his office with my tears rushing endlessly on my cheeks.  I hurried to my desk, grabbed everything I could, and stepped into the elevator. I decided. I was not coming back.