Him and His Hoodie novel Chapter 3

"We've been friends for a while now, Nolan. You told me you don't feel like you fit in with your family, so yes, that could be why you're sitting up here alone but... I don't know, I kind of feel like there's something more going on."

I didn't reply. I just looked down, debating if I should actually tell him or not. Yeah, sometimes, telling our friends something could be a lot easier than telling our family but... Jerome was the only friend I had. And I liked him a lot. Probably way too much even though I had no clue if there was even the slightest chance that he could like me back.

I didn't want to lose him.

"Nolan, whatever is going on with you, I won't judge," Jerome said. "Believe me, I won't. I of all people shouldn't."

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Okay, I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone else before," Jerome said. "Well, Mae knows, because she and her mom helped me out when it happened. The reason why I moved to Miami with Mae wasn't because I wanted a change of scenery or whatever that excuse I used was. The reason I moved was to start fresh. Completely over after..." He sighed. "After my parents kicked me out."

"What?" I asked. "Why would they do that?"

"Because I came out to them," Jerome said. "They didn't like the fact that I'm gay. They tried telling me it was a phase or I was trying to get attention, but when I insisted that I really was attracted to guys, they told me to leave. So I moved in with Mae and her mom, which is why I came down here with Mae."

Part of me felt happy that I possibly had a chance with Jerome but the rest of me, the bigger part, felt so sad. He trust his parents when he came out and they just... threw him out.

And that was my biggest fear. Nobody deserved to go through with it but they did. And I definitely wouldn't be able to handle it.

Because I didn't know what else to say, I said, "You're gay? How come you didn't say anything?"

Wow, way to be hypocrtical Nolan.

"I was going to," Jerome said. "I really was but... I couldn't. Not after how close I felt with your family. I love coming here and spending time with everyone. It was the memories of my parents kicking me out that prevented me. Because I didn't think I could lose anymore people I care about. Do you... Do you think they'll be accepted?"

"I honestly have no idea," I said. "But I am, at least. So you have me."

"And I probably made it worse by telling you what my parents did," Jerome said, followed by a sigh.

"No, you didn't," I said. "Not really. I was already scared about it. That's why I've been isolating myself from my whole family. I really don't want them finding out. I don't know what I would do if they did and hate me for it."

"Nolan, they'll never hate you for it," Jerome said. "My parents don't even hate me. They kicked me out, yes. It may seem like it was out of hatred, yes, but my dad still calls me once in a while to see how I'm doing. He doesn't agree with it, but he said he still loves me."

"Okay, then correction: I don't know what I would do if they did and kicked me out for it," I said.

"You could move in with me and Mae," Jerome said. "Okay, wow, I shouldn't say that and I should try giving you proper advice to make you feel better. It's true that we don't know if your family will accept it but I really don't think they'll kick you out. You seem like a very close family and the worse that happens is they don't agree with it. But don't you ever feel pressured to come out, okay? It's always best to come out when you know you'll be safe doing so, and when you're ready. Do it on your own terms."

I nodded, but I still felt so bad inside. With every passing day, my sexuality was becoming more and more clear to me and I knew it wouldn't be long before my family found out.

And when they did, I didn't know if I would be ready for their reactions.