If Only He Knew novel Chapter 67

When Her Past Life Speaks Too Much About Her Feelings

Emily's POV:

Mia was confused and lost at my words. "Stopped being in each other's lives? What's that supposed to mean?"

I winced slightly as the pin I had been adjusting around a stubborn frizzy curl made every possible measure to poke my fingertips and, eventually, did succeed in bringing a gasp out of me. "I should've taken those little hints too, Mia. Considerable of all, when he decided to go on a separate path all by himself, most of which didn't involve we being together."

Mia looked at me with something akin to pity. Something that I loathe her for giving me every time our conversation loops back to him. "That was one heck of an immature decision on his part, Emily. You know you'd never mean anything less to him than-"

"I'm tired of meaning everything to him, and at the same time, just nothing to him. I don't know how long it'll keep going like that, Mia. How long are we supposed to play this game of a cat and a mouse?"

Taking the alcohol based cotton swab, I rubbed it against my blood-laden fingertip, lightly closing my eyes in a slight burning pain. "I don't have that confidence left in me to wait anymore. Just when will we eventually find the courage to speak out our grudges and pains comfortably with each other and be free of all these baseless ridiculous misunderstandings threatening our already spoiled friendship?"

Mia sighed, as she, for once, sat on the bed quietly, leaving her hairs half-untied. "Emily, " She sighed, as she said, "That's the question you yourself know the answer to. My question will be, just how much you'll want to be hurt more to stop ignoring the only solution you have with you, for all the misery you've been through so far."

I chose to remain silent at her too straight implication.

Discarding the cotton, and bandaging my finger, I went back to the previous but tedious task of dolling myself up.

"Don't try to avoid the direction where this conversation is going, Emily."

"I'm not avoiding it, Mia. I'm just over that path and I'd like to lock that solution within me for as long as I can."

"That would mean you'd probably never get the chance to confess your overly emotional and unique feelings towards him, even in the after-life too. Because that's the real damn stupid, naive, foolish, dramatic, stubborn and wailing excuse of a worthless woman you are!"

Stopping mid-way to my task, I gave her a side glare.

"When it comes to Edward, of course." She added in a haste, smiling sheepishly. "Jokes apart, I still believe he deserves to know what you've been keeping from him since forever. Maybe it'd work as a catalyst in his case for speeding up his tortoise shaped brain cells when it comes to his best friend, which, eventually, in a long run, will help him realize what a total loser he has been so far in handling his own feelings."

"That's the most common assumption I've been hearing for half of my life-"

"Then you, my girl, are some leaked broken product of a real stupidity for not even considering it once. 'Cause for all I know and I'm damn sure I'll be proved right, along with many others, once you do it my way, and, of course, the right way."

I looked at her with confusion, though knowing inside the rough outline of what she has been implying.

"That the stagnant status of your relationship will change as soon as you take the right time, the right place and the right words in your consideration, serious one this time, to speak out all to him, with everything you have in you, to make him understand it in a more bolder, more forward and a more broader way. Sometimes, probably, the most easiest way with the words works wonders too."

Sighing to myself, I pulled the drawer near me and picked a set of glittering red-blue earrings. "But that'd mean seeing him after all this time we've gone without-"

"Then that wedding ring placed so comfortably under your right drawer, that you still didn't find the chance and of course the right time, which you must know is the lamest excuse you use everytime, to hand it over to him till now. " I looked at her, as her eyes shone with sarcasm. "So, are you planning to keep it with you as well, for as long as you can, for, maybe, I've mistaken it as some kind of insurance policy oath you've habit of taking all by yourself, when it comes to stuffs related with him."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I'm not planning to keep it with me forever. I just really didn't get the right time to return it without looking miserable."

"Then do both of you a favour, and be on your way. It's even his birthday today, such a cool timing, I must exclaim. After all, when will he be at his most happiest than to receive the lost ring from his ex-wife he didn't love, or as he claimed, and, that best friend whom he tied to a loveless marriage, just for him, whereafter, whom he had a break-up with in such a messy way, right?"

I rolled my eyes at her words. "You couldn't have put it in a more dramatic way. "

"Well, I can. Try me. I've more than enough juice from your story to keep it interesting for you as long as you want to hear."

Ignoring her rhetoric banter, I said, "But that'd be too rude of me to return him the ring on his birthday, Mia."

"Why not?, "She replied, " If he can gift you the divorce papers on your birthday while he comes back home after celebrating his girlfriend's birthday bash, totally forgetting about his own best friend's birthday which happened to be on the same day as her, then yes, you can do that to him too. No one will judge, I promise. No one will even want to, I bet."

"That's not about revenge, Mia. That time, he didn't know about my feelings-"

"Well, surprise, but after a whole fake marriage chaos, your mother forcing your way out of his place, the almost animosity erupted between the two families, that total disaster of the divorce paper signing event organised by your father, and the after-effects of these depressing three months for you, he still doesn't know about them. Poor him though. I'm sure he'll be guessing all sorts of weird possibilities the whole time you two have been apart, which I guess is the longest you both have ever gone without each other."

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