I'll Take This Pain novel Chapter 17

"Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars.

Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are,"

- Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

The door closed behind her and then the door opened again. He came in with tired eyes and crumpled clothes. His hair was all messy. To put it easily, he looked like shit. "Scarlett. Where did you go?" He whispered, walking towards me and dropping down on the floor next to the bed. I had to act strong even though all I wanted to do was hug him and tell him that it's fine. "Oh. You know, I watched a cute movie and jumped out window and went for a walk in the woods for four days." I said dismissively. He seemed to deflate.

"What movie and why did you jump out the window?" I laughed. "Oh. I watched a very interesting movie. It was live. The name was 'My-mate-is-kissing-my-sister-in-front-of-my-face.'" I said sarcastically. "I'm sorry. I just -" I cut him off before he could finish. "Oh, I know you're sorry for having sex with my sister. Totally sorry, I understand." I smiled at him.

"Listen to me!" He raised his voice. "You don't raise your voice at me! Okay? Do you know how much pain I had to go through just because of you and your stupid hormones? I even got a tattoo from up above because of your stupid hormones! I almost died because of your stupid hormones! I can't even walk now because of your stupid hormones!" I shouted at him, forgetting that Sean was in the room. He gurgled and went back to sleep. "I'm sorry. She forced herself on me." I laughed again.

"I find that highly lame. You had sex with her because of she forced herself on you?" I stood up and limped out of the room, walking downstairs and into Lindsay's room. I forced open the door and saw Lindsay with another guy. "Get off and get out." I said and the guy put on his clothes and ran out of the room. Lindsay glared at me and covered herself with the blankets.

"What do you want?" She sneered at me. She angled her neck and winked at Caleb. That was when I saw it. A mark with a shadow that was distorted and that had like glass cracks on it. I breathed in and tried not to cry. It was his decision. "Well, I just wanted to send him here so you can have him." I smirked. She smiled slyly and winked at Caleb. "Thank you Scarlett." She spat out. I walked towards the door and turned around before I went out. "Oh. You're very welcome." I said and closed the door behind me. I limped back upstairs and saw that Sean was awake now. I limped over to him and picked him up.

"Hey baby. I guess it's just you and me huh? Come on, let's go take a shower huh?" I said as he giggled and played with my messy hair. I carried him, limped into the bathroom with him and gave him a shower. I slowly washed him, changed him and he didn't poop much. I was carrying Sean back to the bed when the door opened and Caleb came barging into the room. He slammed and locked the door behind him. I nodded my head at him, like I was asking what's up.

"Oh. Why did you do that to me? Leave me in the room with that thing!" He panted. "Did you have fun?" I said as Sean wrapped his hands around my neck and giggled into my neck. "NO! I had a hard time getting out." He nodded at Sean. "Whose baby is that?"

"Strangers. I don't know." He sighed and walked over to me. He tried to hug me but I flinched and walked away from him. "So, how was the sex?" I asked casually. "Scarlett. Stop being like this, please. It's like you're pushing the pain away and trying to be strong." He said and that was what made me explode. Those words made me angry. I put Sean down on the bed and turned to Caleb.

"Me? Trying to be strong and pushing the pain away? THAT IS WHAT I'M FREAKING TRYING TO DO! I'M TRYING TO BE! I'M TRYING TO PUSH THE PAIN AWAY! I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THE PAIN ANYMORE. I'M DONE. I'M DONE LETTING PEOPLE LIE TO ME! I'M DONE LETTING PEOPLE HURT ME! I'M DONE FEELING THE PAIN! I'M DONE BEING CHEATED ON AND LIED TO! OH WAIT, WE NEVER EVEN HAD A RELATIONSHIP! HOW STUPID AM I?" I said and laugh at the end.

"WHY NOT JUST TAKE THE PAIN AND SUCK IT UP? YOU'RE MY MATE, OKAY?! IT WAS MATING SEASON AND I DIDN'T WANT TO SCARE YOU BY JUMPING YOU. -" I cut him off.

"SO IT WAS MATING SEASON AND YOU HAD S*X WITH MY SISTER BECAUSE SHE SMELLS LIKE ME OR SOME SHIT?! YOU DID THAT TO ME AND YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO TELL ME THAT I HAVE TO TAKE THIS PAIN AND SUCK IT UP?! YOU MAY BE MY MATE BUT I HATE YOU! I FREAKING HATE YOU! YOU KNOW WHAT?! I'LL TAKE THIS PAIN AND SUCK IT UP BECAUSE I WANT TO." I shouted at him and my hands curled into fists.

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