Close To The Dangerous Bad Boy novel Chapter 37

Lucas's eyes widened, as he looked at me with a shocked expression.

"It's…how to explain…I don't feel anything. No pain. No sadness. Nothing. It's…my safe place." I tried to explain to him my monster from the closet.

"You," He shook his head. "I mean, I know you're skinny and all, but…I didn't know you were anorexic…" He said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I'm not anorexic, I can control this. It's not like I'm bone skinny, it's just…"

"Skye, listen to me. You can't control this. It's like saying you can control, I don't know, a heroin addiction or something! It's not healthy. You're anorexic, well okay maybe not bones stuff, but you are scary skinny. If you don't stop this, you're gonna get anorexic…it's a disease, it's an addiction…It will end up controlling you." He was throwing all this words at me, every thought he had, he looked so desperate.

"It's not about me wanting to be skinny, it's just…I don't know what else to do…" Could I promise him to stop this? Words were one thing, but actions were something completely else.

"I'll be your safe place."

"What?"

"I'll be your safe place, your addiction sponsor, call it whatever you want! I'll help you. I'll protect you. Call me whenever, whereever…I'll be there. I promise you that. Anything for you, my lil' kitty." He looked so truthful, so real…I believed him in a second. But could this be so easy?

"I…I can try. I guess. But it's not so simple…It's not as easy as you think." I held my cold hand on my hot forehead. My hands were always cold. Some say that people with cold hands have warm hearts. But I think it's just bad blood circulation.

"I don't think it's easy…"

"Yes you do!" I snapped at him. "I mean, I know you think it's not easy, but you don't realize how not easy it is. To me…Well, to you eating, being hungry is like breathing air, right?"

"Right."

"Well, to me it's more like…brushing my teeth. I usually remember it, but I don't feel the need for it. Do you get what I'm trying to say?" I tried to explain something that was unexplainable.

"You'll eat as much as you can, I'll eat the rest. Don't worry, I'm not gonna stuff your face with giant amounts of food." He laughed. "What kind of a sponsor would I be, if I did that?" He turned his head in my direction, winking at me. So cute. "Piece by piece, step by step."

He was so protective. He really did care about me. "Lucas," I suddenly remembered. "how did you find me?"

He was already mixing something in a bowl. "I ran after you. You're fucking fast, you know that?" He glanced at me. "Anyway, I lost you in the labyrinth of alleys. It took me a while to find you. When I did…" He clenched the spoon he had in his hand. "You were on the floor, your face covered in blood. I saw Virginia Thompson and her little pack running away…I wanted to go after them, I mean I don't hit girls, but what they did…" He closed his eyes, grimacing his face in anger. "I had to get to you first. You were so cold. I though you were going to die. I was just so fucking…scared. I had to get you out of those wet clothes, I had to get you somewhere warm…So I carried you here and put you under the warm shower."

"You were in there with me."

"Well, you weren't exactly able to stand up on your own, were you?" He mocked me. "But I'm going to get back at them." He moved closer and squatted in front of me. "I'll get back at them for what they did to you." He gently brushed with his finger across my chapped, wounded lips.

"You don't have to…" I whispered.