Close To The Dangerous Bad Boy novel Chapter 39

"Well, some patients stay paralyzed, some forgot how to speak, memory loss, partial paralasies…But your friend wasn't unconscious that long, so we can hope for the best." The old man confidently smiled.

"Thanks." Said Lucas.

Doctor nodded and walked away.

"What do we do now?" I asked Lucas.

"I guess we just sit and wait." He sat down with a sad expression on his face. I sat next to him. He just seemed so heartbroken. I wonder if he blamed himself for what happened to Jimmy? For storming of earlier? I took his hand into mine, making my dark angel smile.

And I'm talking to myself at night

Because I can't forget

Back and forth through my mind

Behind a cigarette

And the message coming from my eyes

Says leave it alone

Why is this song rambling in my head over and over again? The lyrics remind me of Lucas but…I'm going crazy from this stupid melody repeating itself in my head.

Over and over again.

Hospital smell. I hate it. It scares me. It disgusts me. Sick people disgust me. Medical staff scares me. The thought of strangers touching you, even if it's because of medical reasons, simply repels me. Other people's hands on your body. Cold. Disgusting. Humiliating.

My mind still feels out of focus. I need to eat something.

I just don't feel like it. Fuck it.

Kayla was sleeping stretched on three white chairs in the waiting room. Her face was covered in smeared make-up. She was still holding that soggy handkerchief in her hand. Purple hair covering her eyes.

And Lucas…He was just staring at the wall. He seemed so far away…

I was still holding his hand. It felt sweaty. And warm. But mostly sweaty.

"I'm gonna go get some fresh air." I said and let go of his hand.

"What's on your mind?" He gave me back the unwrapped chocolate. The sweet smell of the candy was twirling in the air. I didn't feel like eating at all.

"I don't know." I said, taking a long breath, looking at the candy bar in my hand.

"Don't make me feed it to you." Lucas sighed. "You haven't eaten anything. For a long time. Eat."

"Or what? You'll stuff it in my mouth?" I smirked. I really didn't care about anything. Everything just seemed…fucked up.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take a bite and then feed it to you. Like a mamma bird." He pretended to be serious.

I smiled. "That's gross Lucas."

"You don't want delicious chocolate from my mouth?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Then, eat." He ordered. I knew he was kidding about the feeding thing, but it's Lucas…You never know.

I took a painful bite. The sweet taste of chocolate and hazelnuts exploded on my tongue. That wasn't the bad thing, the bad thing was swallowing. To keep it down without throwing up. I managed to swallow the first bite. But chocolate had such a strong taste, too overvhelming…strong tastes make me sick at times like this. I slowly munched on that bar of chocolate, hoping that the slow motion of eating would keep me from throwing up.