Close To The Dangerous Bad Boy novel Chapter 62

We knew we will soon have to get up and face outdoor reality, but we had a few more minutes...Just a few more minutes.

Awkward.

Weird feelings...

How to put this...the first time is definitely bizarre.

First, it doesn't last long. Not because of the guy, but because of the girl.

Second, the unwrapping of the packet with a condom is...well, awkward.

Third, no, it doesn't make you feel any different.

Girls think that sex is 'I don't know what', something amazing, something that will change your life, a turning point in your life...But it's not. It's not that I'm disappointed, it's just...one of those things that make you think: Oh, that was it? I'm not saying it was bad, because of course - it wasn't, Lucas was great, and sweet, funny, calm...The feelings you get - emotionally, are wonderful, you're happy, connected with the other person, and after all that happened, I have to say that Lucas leaning his head on my chest and falling asleep was my favorite part of the evening.

I didn't care what time it was. I didn't care that the warmth of the sun was reminding me that it was morning already. I didn't care for the people that were starting to wake up. I didn't care for the inviting light, I just wanted to cuddle with the darkness. At least for five more minutes.

"We have to go." Lucas murmured with his morning voice.

"M?" I asked, stroking his soft hair. I was still thinking about last night. Did it matter? That I didn't did it for the first time like other girls? In their perfect relationships, at home, in their beds, with the candles and everything else? Was it too soon?

And then I just...Does it really matter? All of this? Any of this? Where? When? How? With whom? Do you have to wait for the perfect moment?

No, none of this matters. You can fall in love with someone in a day. There is no such thing as perfect moments, you have to make them yourself. You can wait for something for days, weeks or months...Time is irrelevant. You have to do things the way you want to, not the way society makes you do them. You shouldn't have sex if you're not ready. You shouldn't kiss someone if you're not ready. Even if you're...25 years old. Even if you're waiting until after you get married. But you also shouldn't let them tell you not to do it. That sex is something bad. Because it's not.

"To your house." Lucas interrupted my thoughts again.

"Right." I nodded, staring in the distance.

"You okay?" He ruffled his dark hair with his left hand, and blinked with his eyes when a sudden ray of sunlight flashed through the window.

"Mhm." I smiled. I never felt so calm as I did then.

"You sure?" He got up and cupped my face with both of his hands, brushing both of my cheeks, gently.

"Yes." I closed my eyes and leaned on his forehead. I wished I could stay in that seductive moment forever. "You?" I chuckled.

"Well, besides some rose petals up my...akhm, in certain places," He laughed. "I think I have no other injuries."

"What a brave soldier you are." I complimented him, pinching his cheek.

"I'll go after you." I tried escaping his embrace.

"We have to save the planet, remember? Save the water and stuff like that..." He whispered in my ear with a velvet-like voice.

"Since when do you care about the planet?" I mocked him, tracing his cheek with my fingertips, feeling a slight stubble beneath. He had a serious five o-clock shadow. It made him look older than he really was...as if he were twenty or even older. Interesting.

"Since I saw you nak-"

"Shut it!" I punched his shoulder, blushing.

"Well," He grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the door. "you can just watch..."

"What?!" I laughed at his ridiculous suggestion.

"I can put on a show..." He twisted his hips a little, like Shakira.

"No, thank you..." I put a hand over my mouth because I was laughing too loud. "I have no interest in seeing your bare ass...dancing..."

"C'mon..." He winked in the dorkiest way possible as he opened the door.