Heaven And Hell novel Chapter 101

"Yes!" I exclaimed, on fire now. Really! The nerve of that guy! I bet no one had ever contradicted him and I felt slightly better that I somehow got to equally lash out on him like he did to me. The jerk didn't look used to being answered back. I waved my fork in the air as I added, "He was unbearable, Aunt Mary!"

Uncle Eddie raised his bushy eyebrows. "Like an oaf?"

"Worse than an oaf!"

"A knave?"

"Even worse." I suddenly blinked. "Wait, what's that?"

He smiled with a twinkle in his eyes. "Just think of a playboy, only ruddier than that."

"Worse!"

"Like a flibbertigibbet?"

"I don't know what that means, but I'll take it!"

"Granted." He went back to eating his lunch.

Aunt Mary smacked his arm. "I'm a flibbertygibbet! I'm a chatterbox, remember?" Her husband shrugged. She looked like she was trying not to laugh, but failed. When she was done, her big brown eyes scintillated in merriment when her gaze went from her husband to me. She gave a little dreamy sigh and asked, "Was he handsome?"

I dropped my fork and knife, crossing my arms as I scowled. "God, Aunt Mary! Which side are you on?"

She shook her head quickly and shrugged helplessly. "Yours, of course! But, Livvy," she squealed, "I saw him on the telly, and he was a handsome bloke with the most piercing light eyes with a unique colour one can't pinpoint! I dropped my pinny while I was about to cook that time."

"It's true," my uncle agreed, cutting his carrots on his plate. "She dropped her pinny and ticked off the list of pros the Cutting men have regarding their looks."

"Oh, hush!"

He grinned cheekily through his thick beard. "But you still love me."

Her laugh tinkled in the air. My mother and her little sister had the same laugh -- like wind chimes in a sunny afternoon; music to one's ears. "I do, I do."

I thought the topic at hand was gone, so I started relaxing and continued eating, but then my aunt leaned over the round table and placed her hand on my arm. She rubbed it in quick motions, and grinned like a high schooler. She made it easier, to be be honest. She made me feel like we'd been in the same country for years and hadn't been apart.

"So?"

I blinked at her. "So what?"

"Was he fit? Is he as good-looking in person as he is on the telly?"

"Aunt Mary!"

Really. If this was going to continue on, I'd fling myself out the window and run screaming for the hills. And there were a lot of hills here.

Aunt Mary. "What lady --"

"You're going to have dinner there?" Uncle Eddie.

"What lady --"

"What did the marquess say?"

"What lady!"

My eyes went back and forth toward the two of them. Uncle Eddie looked like a surprised mountain man, and Aunt Mary seemed like she was over the moon.

I said, in a very patient voice, "That dowager Rossington woman -- and, no, Colton didn't say anything except apologise to me for thinking I was this desperado..."

My aunt abruptly stood up and portrayed a floating, fluttering fairy around me (all she needed was glitter to sprinkle over me and two pegacorns in tutus) like she was the one who was going to Havenhurst Hall.

I wished.

But I had to get my necklace back and face that evil, pompous cat.

Aunt Mary made me feel like I was Elizabeth Bennett or something, and it was starting to scare the crap out of me. Uncle Eddie stared at me in sympathy, over his glass of juice.