Her Innocence novel Chapter 14

Will he?

I don't know if I am ready. I felt his thumb moving slowly making me tickle as his other hand moved towards my waist making my breath hitch. I never dared to open my eyes as we stayed like that for minutes with his forehead resting on top of mine.

I waited for him to make the move and waited but he never did and finally he spoke.

"Frequent. It means something that's regular." He answered my question as he pulled back and my eyes opened staring at him as I must have turned into a beetroot by now. He sat straight in his chair as I was still affected by our closeness. I could still feel his fingers on me, his breath that tickles me and deep down I feel like he is not pushing himself, he wants to take all of this slow. Oh god! All of this was so new to me and it all felt good. None of this felt wrong. But I don't feel ready. I don't feel like I can kiss him right now.

"O-okay. I have to make the bed." I stuttered and quickly stood up from my seat and walked faster like my life depends on it. I wanted some time alone, I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. I made the bed and went to the washroom to change into my pajamas, which Nathan bought. I freshened up and when I came, he wasn't there. I laid on my side as I turned my face towards the wall. I remember his words that felt so sincere that I was afraid that it would be false.

You are so beautiful.

His words made me feel safe and being loved.

"You are a worthless piece of trash!" She yelled as she almost tripped on her feet.

"Your father loved a crazy bat witch! That crazy woman has so much trust in me that she just left you with me." She laughed, maniacally as her steps kept increasing towards me. My body was curled up against the wall as she held the knife tight in her hand.

"Your father called me a worthless sister. He never trusted me! H-he always picked his wife over ME!" Her voice kept getting louder and I flinched as she stood right Infront of me. Whenever she was drunk, she said things about my mother and father that I never understood.

"But now I have everything in control. He doesn't know anything. The plan I have made is working properly." She gave me that evil smile as she spoke. "You look just like your mother!" She spat as she leaned down and leveled her face towards me.

"He calls you and his wife beautiful!" She said with disgust as I held back a sob when she yanked my hair and started to examine my face with a knife.

"You are so ugly! Remember that!" She hissed and pulled my hair tighter in her hold as I yelped in pain.

"Say you are ugly!" She commanded.

"I-I am u-ugly." I whispered as she cut my wrist with the knife and I screamed in pain. The blood dripping down from my wrist onto my hand and then fingers.

"SAY IT LOUDER!" She screamed.

"I am ugly!" I said louder this time but to my disappointment she drew a line on my wrist again, I helplessly cried and screamed for help but no one ever heard. I was alone in my mess and no one could ever help me, not my mother and not my father. I never said bad things about them but always in my mind, I thought that they left me because I was a worthless and that upset me in so many ways but on the other hand, I felt that maybe there was a reason, I only want answers.

Why did my father leave me when I was only six?

Why did my mother leave me with a monster when everything in our life was perfect?

"Dear?" I called for her but she didn't answer as I made my way towards her, steadily. Her face looked like she held a lot of troubles, I want to help her and I would do anything even if I have to give myself away. I would do that, because she means the world to me. I kneeled beside her and slowly leaned in and laid my lips on top of her forehead. I kissed her and kept my lips for a few moments as I whispered.

"I promise, I will protect you from everything." I pulled back as I saw a lone tear slipped from her eye and onto her nose.

Was she crying because of me?

Oh no! I felt furious at myself when I saw that tear. That tear would only come out when she is happy and crying from joy.

Then I noticed something, she was wearing the pajamas I bought her and her arms were bare but what caught my eyes were her wrist. They were filled with blue and black bruises. Please tell me she didn't went through abuse. I felt like crying as I rubbed my fingers over cuts that were near her pulse.

Did she do that? She cannot, right?

"I want the best for you Janet. And today I will make a promise. I promise to always help you in need, I promise to never show you sorrow, I promise that I will never let anyone touch a strand of your hair, I promise that no one will ever hurt you ever again." I whispered as a tear escaped my eyes.

I promise.

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