If Only He Knew novel Chapter 18

Emily's Pov:

"Emi."

Holy bullshit! Edward heard me.

He saw me talking to a cake confessing my feelings for him! I pushed my face into dung mentally.

Okay, don't panic, Emily! This happens, it is life, it is love but... It's my fucking birthday as well, my inner voice shouted.

I looked at my right and left, planning a route of escape. Because I ain't no fairy tale princess who thinks that when her prince would hear of her secret feelings for him, he would confess romantically in front of her, kissing her and then they live happily ever after! That bullshit wasn't taking anyone anywhere.

I know very well where I am standing in my life right now and how much a person likes me or loves me because if that weren't the case, I would never have gotten myself in this fake marriage from the start.

That's why I really don't want to get rejected on my birthday and end up killing myself to tears. I shook my head violently to pry off such thoughts!

"Hey Eddie, how was Lar-"

"Lily, Are you fucking out of your mind? What were you thinking of before doing such a thing, huh?" Edward said, clearly angry, striding hastily towards me.

I scooted my chair subconsciously, not from fear but from open rejection. The thing which had been in front of me from start, I accepted it heartily, but when it will be forced upon me again, this time in words, I don't think I can do such thing as confronting it.

I know I am twenty-five, for bull's sake but my heart is not ready to bear rejection continuously for years.

I can watch him happy with her all time but I don't really have the guts to survive after being rejected officially.

"Edward, I was just eat-"

"Lily, don't do things like this again and again. It hurts me to see you hurt all the time, because of me!" he yelled, snatching my hand from the chair, taking it in his hand before opening my fists to run his calloused fingers along my wound.

I shivered both from pain and his touch, looking at him, bangs covering his eyes, his cheeks little red, maybe from drinking. Looking down, I found designer white table cloth soaked with my blood, my wound aching more now when he peeled the bandage slowly.

Eh, when did I start to bleed?

I was sitting on the chair, lost in my thoughts when Edward came, water in his hands. His tie was loose, and the front buttons were undone. He unbuttoned his sleeves, only to roll his shirt up to his arm, his hands taking mine once again before he started to treat my wound. I whimpered a little when he took hold of my other hand, placing it on my shoulder pressing it there firmly.

"Here, pinch my shoulder or grip it tightly when it pains too much, " he muttered, still not looking at me.

"Are you mad at me?"

A gust of wind blew over my face.

No response.

"Did I do something wrong?"

One minute silence.

Still no response.

He was busy wiping my wound, being extra gentle with it. I smiled at his affection and ruffled his air earning a glare from him. At least he looked at me!

But still...

"Eddie? Can you open up your pants for me?" I said, pouting girl-ish-ly at him.

His head snapped at me so quick I was sure he had whiplash. He looked at me, quirking his eyebrows before a tiny smile broke into his handsome face.

"Say that sentence once again and I'll make sure to oblige to you thoroughly, " he said, resuming once again his challenge of looking down.

"What? You know this is my emergency line to make you talk to me!"

"I didn't know that until now."

"What, Edward? At least tell me why you are mad at me? Did you have a fight with Lara or did she not like your gift because I assure you that's the most beautiful ring I saw yesterday. Or are you having problems at the office? You know I am always available. We're friends-"

"Goddammit, Emily!"

It was a divorce agreement with my alimony of 100 million! What the-

"Edward, are you insane? If anybody sees this then we're all busted! You know it's already much of a hassle to act-" I said, sitting properly on the couch, placing my legs on his lap, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I know Lily, " he interrupted my rant, "but I want to be prepared for everything. For now, I have already signed it so keep it safe with you."

I flipped pages of the file to see he had really signed it. My heart broke once again. He was really going to divorce me.

So, what did you expect Emily, that he will suddenly realize that he loves you back and blah blah blah till happily ever after!

My eyes fell once again at the amount I was going to get with this agreement. No matter which angle I see it from, this was all wrong. Though I come from a middle-class family, I didn't really have the wish to collect materialistic achievements and as for this fake marriage, this was a stark no!

"But still, the money is too much to give Eddie. we can donate it to some NGO or school. They need it more than me. You see-"

"Emi, Emi, my dear Emi, " he sang, shaking my shoulders, making me look up at him, a bright smile adorning his handsome face.

I almost swooned at that, you brat! Next time give me a warning before you smile. Ugh!

"You deserve so much that I don't have enough to give it all to you. I wish to give you all the happiness of this world but I know you won't accept it. So just pretend to take 100 million as alimony when we divorce and then you can donate it to poor or NGO, whichever way you want to spend it."

"But still, Edward, this is-"

My stomach growled this time and Edward laughed at that. I guess priorities should come first!

"Let's not talk about it. You sit here, today I'll cook, " he said, walking to the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat on your birthday, Mrs Jones?" he said slyly, looking so handsome from afar that I just wanted to eat him instead!

Stop, stop! Bad Emily!

I blushed at the surname, clearly loving it more than my face could express! I walked over to him, facing him with a smile before poking his nose gently.

"My birthday ended three hours ago. Its way past midnight, Mr Jones!"