If Only He Knew novel Chapter 21

Emily's Pov:

What the hell?!

I stumbled across the grass, my toes curled up, burning with fire due to long and sharp pencil heels I was wearing digging into the soft grass.

I groaned in pain, my chin erect with the pride and honour, not willing to show any sign of discomfort on my first real date!

I glared at the spot in the corner of the greenhouse, a growing mould and horsetail above it, trying to distract myself from the fact that I was practically walking half naked in some attire that women dared to call a 'dress'.

While Edward's arms were draped so casually over my shoulders, I had the urge to shake some sense into him that I wasn't habitual to his lingering touches no matter how much I was a villain thinking this as his wife.

Oh, my, my. I was his fucking fake female wife. I totally forgot that. Bam!

"Lily, are you okay? You seem to be a bit tired. I told you, taking a walk in a park in the middle of an evening was not some idea a man would prefer if he was to have a dinner date with his wife the very same day! Man, I have some of my own desires as well but wives these days are no better than nursing cats, always ready to scratch the innocent faces around and creating a nuisance!"

"Excuse me. Did you just call me an animal? A fierce and servant one at that?" I glared at him, my nose scrunched up in an attempt to scare away the men who were glaring holes into my skin right now.

These fucking animalist caterpillars! Hadn't they ever seen a female in a female attire before?

As if judging my discomfort, Edward scooped me even closer, adjusting his coat around me firmly.

"No, I called you a cat, to be precise!"

"A cat is an animal. Pet one at that! How can you call me that! Don't you-"

"Well, most girls like to be called 'cat'!"

"If you hadn't dropped your brain while walking and wagging your tail, you would've known that I don't come in the category of 'most' girls!"

"Good, good. Now we're going somewhere. I thought you were going to be depressed the whole evening for the fact that your feet are bruised and your toes are swelled up. At least we're having a conversion here!" He walked ahead of me, only to turn back to look at me, this time walking with his face directed towards me, his fingers swaying to the words while he talked things about his office. I hoped he wouldn't stumble into someone.

He told me about anything and everything and how he signed another deal with the company, and how he had a fight with Lara. Wait, what?

"You had a fight with Lara? How? When? Is it about that ring you gifted her on her birthday? Didn't she like it? Oh dear, it was the best ring I had seen-"

"No, it isn't that!" He stopped walking, momentarily stumbling on a stone or pebble lying casually on the green moss. His eyes held mine, blue orbs boring into my own green ones. I searched his eyes for any emotion which he might show but found none.

Struggling with my inner self, I approached him slowly, lifting my fingers tentatively to touch his shoulder. He tensed slightly at my touch, still not breaking his gaze and I felt extremely exposed at his ministration. I dropped my gaze in embarrassment, my cheeks now strawberry coloured.

"Edward? Tell me you two didn't break up. Tell me you stopped loving her. Tell me she doesn't matter to you anymore!" I whispered, still looking at the ground, my fingers planted more firmly on his shoulders, now with nervousness.

"I can't."

Every time Lara and Edward had a fight, he would make this pity face and I couldn't help but ask the same question about him not loving or caring for her anymore and he would shower me with the same answer of the sweet little monosyllabic word 'no' every time I asked. It would've sound sweet and romantic to anyone else but it was a straight dagger to my heart every time I had to ask him what I always dreaded all along.

Nodding absentmindedly at his response, I continued to walk, my eyes fixed on a couple who were sharing saliva and lips so loudly I concluded they were versed voice actors of some kind of pornography.

Hearing the grass rustle, I concluded that Edward was walking behind me. I felt his arm snaking around my waist, brushing my sides so blissfully in the process, pulling me closer to his side. I stared at him, trying to step out of his grip to some extent since I could feel his side hard muscles pressing tightly the side of my left breast, leaving my cheeks tingling with a blush. He pulled me closer instead, playfully trying to rest his head on my shoulder and earning a glare from me.

"She had a problem with all this marriage thing."

I lifted my head to look up at him, urging him for some elucidation.

"She doesn't like why I had to behave like a husband if I am not even married for real to you."

"But this is mandatory. And she knew all of this beforehand. This way everyone will know the truth if it doesn't-"

"I know, I told her the same but she wasn't willing to agree. On the contrary, she seems to have a problem with our friendship out of blue, saying I listen too much to you than to her and she had been thinking this bullshit since we started dating, continuously nagging me about you being -oh leave it already! I tried to ignore every time but this is too-"

I looked at him in bewilderment.

"So? It's nothing you don't know! You know I do it all for our friendship. For your plan to keep your relationship going with Lara since you love her."

"Yeah. I do. But she thinks you do it thinking of me as more than a friend."

My eyes met his in a bold fashion, his fingers tightening around my own.

"What do you mean, Eddie?" I asked softly, my voice coming more like a whisper.

"She thinks you adore me"

I tightened my grip on his hands, our eyes staring at each other, searching for the truth. I found he was speaking the truth while I could only crawl away in fear if he ever found my own.

"She thinks you fancy me, more than a friend."

I averted my gaze, looking somewhere else other than him. If I looked into his eyes right now, it would be a clean fall of me. I would fall right away and give in to everything.

Everything he would say, be it a truth or a lie.

And he would see right through me then.

Taking a sharp intake of breath, I closed my eyes to calm my rapidly beating heart. My nostrils flared, tears prickling my eyes. A cool breeze washed my face, leaving the corner of my eyes tickling. I felt tears welled up, pooling across the corner, itching to fall right into doom.

"Emi, Lara thinks you're in love with me."

I abruptly let go of his hand, stumbling across the rough grass recovering immediately to take one or two steps back away from him.