If Only He Knew novel Chapter 43

Emily's pov:

"Lily, I can't find my office files and where is my folder!?" I heard Edward calling for me, sound of things falling down coming from our bedroom.

"See there! Under that black cupboard inside your closet!" I yelled, stirring my stew before taking some in a spoon to taste.

Too spicy!

I added some water and vegetables, breaking two eggs and poured them over boiling stew. Chopping fresh parsley, I sprinkled it over my cooked stew.

"I can't find it anywhere! Emi Seriously, where the hell is that damn folder!"

I sighed loudly, shooking my head and turning off the heat of the stew.

Quickly I climbed over the stairs to see him all frustrated and half dressed, ransacking all cupboards of the room.

"Eddie! See properly there, will you!? I'm trying to cook you a proper breakfast here!"

With a single look and search, I pulled out his desired file, placing it carefully over his desk before crossing my arms in annoyance to look at him.

Though all my annoyance flew out of the window the moment I saw him without shirt, looking all guilty and smiling brightly at me.

"I thought it was the black cupboard you said to find in!?"

"It was the black cupboard, Eddie! Though its not my fault you happen to have many of them in your closet!"

He put on his white shirt, buttoning up his sleeves, his necktie hanging loose on his collars while I was trying to pretend to collect things from the bed, not wanting to look at his half-naked body which would continue the chain of my unwanted wet dreams of him just like when I was in high school.

When he was all done dressing up, I walked over to him, taking his necktie and fastening it around his collar. It was my daily task, doing it for him though he asked me many times to teach him so that he wouldn't have to bother me but I assured him it wasn't much of a tedious task for me.

Straightening his collar, I knot his tie three times, averting it, placing it and then all done.

Running my fingers once more over his black necktie, I backed some steps away, only to be pulled closer quickly by him, his hands wrapped around my waist.

I squeeked impulsively as I fell straight on his chest, while his hands encircled my waist, pulling me deliciliously closer.

"Ed-"

"Do I stress you too much, lily!?"

He rested his head at the crook of my neck, practically crushing me with his bone-crushing hug. My feet were lifted off the carpet as the strap of my kitchen apron fell off my arms.

"I think you-" I put my hand on his chest to push him slightly away.

"Do I!?" He asked again, his grip not loosening a bit over my waist.

"Er.. No! Never! Why would you stress me!? I'm your friend, Edward and friends don't give stress to each other!"

He pulled apart to stare at me and I blinked once to see him looking so handsome, yet I couldn't touch him and tell him all that.

"But you give me so much stress, Lily!"

I furrowed my eyebrows on confusion. "Why would I-"

"No matter how much I think about it, its all my fault. It's all fucking my fault! I am sorry. So sorry for hurting you when you weren't even willing to-"

Not now. Not again.

He was still regretting that night!

In frustration, I raised my shaking hand at him.

"People don't apologize for touching their wives, Edward!"

I don't know what came over me but suddenly I was feeling too overwhelmed with emotions. I wanted to cry so bad everytime he would apologize yet I couldn't do it 'cause I was afraid he might take it wrong way thinking he hurt me that night when he was truly hurting me with all of his futile apologies now.

He remained silent for some time and I took some books to place it on cupboard, folding the sheets and adjusting the pillow.

"Breakfast is ready! If you can hurry, it'll be warm and healthy for you!"

I opened the door, setting my foot forward to walk out.

"Why were you crying, lily!?"

I stopped abruptly and turned around to look at him, standing all confused in his thoughts.

"Why were you crying that night, after....opening my shirt and lying above me!? I remember you hiding your crying face from me? Why!"

Quickly, I was alarmed. I hesitated a bit, searching the room frantically to get any reason to escape from answering that question.

I was so careful hiding my tears from him! How the hell did he know!

Well, he ain't my best friend for nothing!

"Well, I ermm-"

"I have been wanting to ask you this question so badly but each time, something happened and I couldn't ask! Now, lily, will you please answer me!? It's eating me up inside that I made you cry-"

"I didn't cry because you were hurting me, Edward!"

"Then why? Tell me! If it wasn't my-"

"I can't tell you" I whispered softly, my hands clutching sleeves of my apron in nervousness.

"What? Wh-"

"I can't tell you, Edward, I am so sorry. Please forgive me!"

"But why Emi. I don't understand all this! We never hide anything from each other! There was nothing called as secret between us-"

"I'm sorry. I just can't-"

Abruptly I turned around to leave him when he caught my wrist and pulled me back. My eyes widened to see him all angry and annoyed. His eyes reflected pure rage and something else I couldn't yet pinpoint.

"You can't tell me!? Me? You can't tell your Edward!? Why is that!? Suddenly, you have started hiding things from me so cleverly! Why do I feel like you will ditch me and leave me alone to live all by myself in near future!?"

His grip on my wrist tightened, pressing me to answer his question.

"I'm not having this conversation with you again! You've started to imagine ridiculous things, Edward and you-"

"So you're telling me that I am thinking wrong when I say you won't ditch me!? Ever!? Then, why don't you answer me clearly why the hell were you crying that day!?"

I tried to wiggle out of his grip, joining my other hand to push him away.

"Emi, I never could've believed that you of all people would behave like this!"

His fingers curled tightly around my wrist, painfully leaving me squirming.

But I refused to show him my hurt and pain though I was very much sure my eyes must be betraying my words as I saw him flinch a little when a drop of my tear fell slowly over his fingers gripping my wrist.

Immediately, he loosened his grip but didn't leave my hand, still staring at me to get his answer.

But what would I answer him?

That I was so much happy he was finally touching me the way I wanted him to and my euphoria reached my peak when I laid on top of him, not believing that the man I was touching was the same guy I had been in love for years!?

I put my hands over his, slowly trying to remove his hands.

I said winking at him, showing him the perfect white teeth.

"Two years? You'll stay with me for only two years!? Why so!?"

I sighed.

"Our fake marriage is only for two years! In case you forgot! You already signed the divorce agreement as well! I have kept it with me for months. But

don't you worry! We'll continue being friends even after you marry Lara! And maybe if I have time out of my busy schedule, I would babysit your kids as well!"

Immediately I hugged him tighlty to hide my tears, but I wasn't much able to stifle the sobs so I had to bit my lips to control myself from breaking right then and there.

"Emi, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

He caressed my back, moving his hands up and down my back while I held him tightly for my dear life, not wanting to let go anytime soon. His hands tightened around my shoulders hugging me back.

"No. No. I am fine! Totally fine.! It's just that thoughts of settling you down with a nice future and a beautiful woman made me kinda emotional! It was hard believing that we grew up so fast turning from a little boy and a little girl to a complete man and a woman. Anyway. I am happy for you!"

I turned to leave.

"Emi. It's not that I don't want to tell you the reason. I just don't know myself why I haven't said "I love you" to her! It's just that it somehow never crossed my mind telling her all that!"

I was about to answer him when my phone rang and I nearly dropped it out of my pocket seeing who it was.

George!

Oh god. No!

I hid it carefully in my pocket, after checking messages from Mia. She still hadn't replied to my text and it's been two weeks since I last talked to her.

Nevertheless, I wasn't worried much since I knew she was with Jake and as much of a stupid fucking dumbo bastard he was, it wasn't a doubt to say that he would die himself before letting anything bad happen to her.

My phone rang again and I really didn't want to pick up George's call in front of Edward remembering the last time the consequences of talking to him weren't actually to both of our interest.

It rang yet again and I sighed.

"Who is it? Why don't you pick it up, Emi?"

I averted my gaze to stare at my books.

"Is it him? Again!?"

"No! Hell no! Why would George call me?! What would he get by calling some ugly tomboy like me?! I refused him a date weeks ago. He has nothing to do with me now, I assure you!"

"I never said it was George calling you though!"

My ringtone broke my line of thoughts again and Edward snatched the phone out of my hand to stare at the caller ID and then look at me.

"I told you to stay away from him!"

"It's not that I called him first though! He is the one calling me! And besides!"

I snatched my phone back from him.

"What right do you have to stop me!?"

I was about to take the call when Edward stopped me again. "No! Don't take it Lily. He is a bad person. Maybe he would just use you and throw you away like a trash. This guy is a shit!! You don't know men-"

I looked from my phone to stare at him in annoyance.

"Do you love me, Edward?"