If Only He Knew novel Chapter 51

Emily's pov:

Pouring two cups of coffee quickly, I walked towards Jake, who was sitting on drawing room, in heavy mood.

"Here!" I handed him a mug of coffee before sitting in front of him, crossing my legs.

"So... How come you're here? So early in the morning!?"

Jake didn't respond, instead he took one sip of his coffee, avoiding my gaze and perhaps, ignoring my logical question ever, as well.

"Jake!? You didn't answer me. And now when I am thinking about it, where is...." I looked all around the room, before fixing my eyes on Jake, "Mia?"

He still didn't look at me.

My natural feminine and partial tomboy instincts kicked my butt continuosly, telling me something indeed had gone wrong, the reason this dog named Jake was so early in my house, the one who used to bite off anyone's head whoever dared to drag off his slim ass of his comfy bed this morning.

"Jake!? I asked you a question!?"

Still no response.

I tapped my foot in annoyance, drilling a large imaginary hole in the blue carpet.

"Jake!!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

He jumped right from his spot, now staring at me.

"Jake? Did you have a fight with Mia? Again? Like seriously!? Oh fuck, when the hell will two of you actually learn to stand each other!? You both are fucking adults, for god's sake, then why don't you ever behave as one, you stupid leacehrous beetle crawling on a rotten spinach in a flooded street!"

"Emily-"

"No! I dont want to hear any of your stupid excuses! If you hate Mia that much, then why don't you stop hanging out with her-"

"Listen-"

"She never thought bad of you, Jake! Never! She always took your side, no matter how much you did wrong! Even in those crazy situations, where she was supposed to be hating you, she never hated you actually-"

"I am-"

"Don't you dare, you muddy earthworm crushed under leaves-"

"Emily, will you calm down for God's sake!"

"If you two fight again, don't you dare to come crawling like a snake on my door otherwise I'll stuff both of you under my washroom's sewer-"

"Listen to me for a minute, will you-"

"No-"

"Calm down your fucking familiar fat ass, Emily!"

"You two will- Well, what did you say!? Come again?"

"I asked you to calm down for a second!"

I raised my eyebrows, before nodding my head. Taking out paper fan from my purse, I fanned my face frantically ,"I am fine! Totally fine! Never been better! You can continue saying what you were going to tell me!" I waved my hand in front of Jake, urging him to continue.

Jake took a long relaxing sigh before looking at me completely, perhaps judging my expression. "I can't find Mia"

I choked on my spit which fell proudly on my coffee. "What!?"

"Yeah... I don't know anything but now I can't find Mia-"

"What do you mean you can't find Mia!? Weren't you the one she went out in the car with, last time I saw her? I messaged her asking for her well being but she didn't reply! I thought she was with you and that's why I didn't bother to check out on her because no matter you're such a sick-jerk at times, I knew you would take care of her but-"

"I know. I know, Emily! But we had this little fight in my car after I had decided to take her to my grandfather's farmhouse. We reached safely there and she went out for a little walk in the city as well, but then..." Jake stopped talking, his eyes bearing confused expression.

I waited for him to continue.

"And then Jake?"

"Well I don't remember the rest"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean you don't remember the rest!? Weren't you the one who took her to the farmhouse-'

"Yes. But I can't remember the rest of it no matter how much I try, Emily. I drank that day so-"

"You drank!? What the fucking hell happened that day that you needed to drink so badly Jake!? Did you lose your parents or your girlfriend died in a plane crash that day? Or you lost your greatest fortunes in a lottery or" I tucked lock of my hair behind my ears and glared at Jake,"Or Jenny fell over the roof and some stupid car ran over it!?"

"No! Don't curse my Jenny! Both of my parents are well and I don't have girlfriend, Emily!", he yelled, shifting in his position a little,"Well it wasn't that I wanted to drink! I just felt like drinking so I drank but when I woke up in the morning, my head was aching like hell and.....I couldn't find Mia! I searched in all the rooms and asked for her everywhere where she could be found but....I couldn't....."

Jake didn't look at me, but continued to sip on his cold coffee.

I sighed in frustration, kicking the table in frustration.

"Try to remember Jake! Try to remember what you and Mia talked about before she left you without notice!"

Jake took a long breath. "I tried, Emily! A lot but I still can't remember a thing!"

"Did you hit her!?"

His eyes widened to saucers, "What-"

"I am just saying it, you know, it's totally hypothetical though but we do unexpected things when we get drunk and some of those things may include violence, abuse, torture, exploitation, rape, temporary memory loss... "I trailed off, finding Jake's reactions quite interesting for my own taste.

Jake looked at me with shock and horror,"What the fuck-" he took a long breath, perhaps to calm himself,"Do you seriously think I would hit...Mia? Really? Do you think so bad of me, Emily!? I mean I saved her from that fucking piece of shit James who treated her like whore only to beat her to pulp later!? Why would I do...."he took another long breath, his fingers forming into fists,"I can't remember anything but I know very well that I didn't..hit..Mia!"

Jake completed the sentence, his voice croaking in the end as if he were tasting poison in his own words.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, "Hmm...it's all futile attempt to try anything then!"

Thinking of some better options and neglecting them all with a harsh conclusions, I came to the conclusion that indeed something might have gone wrong otherwise Mia wasn't the girl to leave like Cinderella in the middle of the night, especially when her dreamy Prince was most willing to keep her with him.

"What did you dream of, Jake!? Do you remember your dreams?"

Jake shook his head, "No, I don't remember any of it either"

"I told you specifically to eat more mature almonds you idiot! You and your stupid brain will win the awards of the "I-am-the-most-manly-fucking-loser-of-the-zoo" soon if you keep living your-"

"It's not my fault that I can't remember it but.."he stopped for a second, thinking about something,"I do remember something though, it's kinda blurry, vague and..."

Immediately, faint blush adorned Jake's handsome face, and he averted his gaze somewhere else, avoiding my eyes.

"And? Complete your sentence, Jake! Was it about Mia!?"

Jake coughed a little and nodded. "Yes"

"So what about her then!? Tell me in detail, will you!?"

"Well.. It's not appropriate to tell you this but since it's all a dream then I think it wouldn't be so bad to tell you after all..."

I scooted closer to him, my ears transforming into a advanced elephant ones, rolling like a carpet on a floor.

"So...what's that dream about then!?"

"So... do you like her then!?"

"I.. maybe... I don't know... cause it's not really true but still it's not totally wrong either and so if you say it that way...then you aren't wrong as well but I can't say anything for sure so well..I ur..I suppose I should...-"

"Jake, do you like Mia or not!?"

"I do. A lot! Maybe. I don't know! But yeah! I like her company, I like to spend my time with her... and I like it when she is willing to spend all time of her precious day with me and I.... also like it when she worries for me whenever I fall sick and whenever...... I am late to my home, I like it ....very much that she waits for me in her own home, standing on her terrace to wait for me till I get home safely...and I like to pick these little immature fights with her... and well there's more but still I don't know if I like her or not! You tell me, Emily! What's a person supposed to feel if he happnes to like someone!?

"What did you feel when you learned that she was getting married!?"

"Don't even ask me that! I felt creepy and horrible! Like I never knew anything better of Mia from the start! I mean to say that it never crossed my mind that she was supposed to marry someone in the near future so when I knew she was marrying James, I started to compare myself with that piece of shit, calculating to myself ...why I wasn't the one whom she could have chosen to spend her life with!? And then,....I came to a conclusion that I was willing to change my lifestyle, living according to her expectations if only she could ever call off her wedding somehow!"

My mouth opened in awe to listen to the words of pure unexpected truth, coming from our infamous egoistic playboy, our one and only, Jake Anderson.

If only Mia were here to listen all this!

She would have died of intense heart attack, you flaming furry joke of an animal!

I cleared my throat loudly, hiding my happines and excitement.

"You know you certainly like her then, Jake! It doesn't take much of a genius brains to detect your feelings for Mia!"

Jake sat still and montionless in his position for minutes, not daring to look at me. I waited for him to speak but he didn't utter a word, for a moment I thought if he even knew he came to my house or he was just sleepwalking all this time.

"Jake!?"

No response.

"Jake!? Are you okay?!"

He still was staring at the space, not willing to respond.

"Jake!? Jake!?" I shook his shoulders violently when finally he looked at me, his eyes bearing shocked expression.

"Emily, what do I do now?"

"What-"

"Did I do wrong to both of us if I didn't know I liked Mia all along!?"

"No-"

"Did I commit a huge mistake if I didn't tell her I liked her!?"

He gripped his head, running his fingers along his forehead. "What the hell should I do now!? She isn't responding to my calls and texts, I am fucking worried for her, Emily! She would be safe right? Oh god, I want to see her face so badly-"

"Jake, listen to me, will you!" I gripped his shoulders, jerking him off.

"I don't know anymore! Will Mia reject me if I...tell her about my...feelings for her?"

"Hell! No way! It's a ancient yes from her side for a long time!" Jake looked at me in confusion, and I cleared my throat nervously "Or you never know what she actually wants! I mean your feelings can be rejected brutally and totally! You can cry on my shoulder! I am here for you, Jake! I will knock some better sense into her dinosaur skull if she dares to reject a person like you!"

I patted her head like a baby, to fake comfort him while my mind wondered where Mia could be and what had happened between her and Jake when he was drunk.

"Thank you so much for supporting me, Emily! But still Mia-"

"Don't worry, Jake! I will try to reach her! I am sure she's just gone for some time, maybe to complete something important-"

"But still she should've informed any of us before going anywhere-"

"Be at ease, Jake! I am sure she'll be fine. I will contact her soon to check so don't you worry!"