If Only He Knew novel Chapter 61

Emily's POV:

Silence stretched between us for long minutes as Mia took her time in contemplating her decision. "I don't know what to do, Emily. I am in a strange dilemma."

I glanced at Rose who merely threw me an annoying and impassive look making me roll my eyes at her.

"Are you sure you can handle the pregnancy? Will you keep the baby then?"

"I wouldn't ask that question if I were you." Rose said, raising one eyebrow at me.

"Unfortunately, I don't intend to behave as myself today." I said to Rose, who ignored my words like a fly sitting on her cupcake, making me turn my attention back to Mia again. "So? Did you think about it?"

"What do you think I should do?" Mia asked me.

"I think-"

Rose snatched phone from my hands and put it over her ears. "I advice you to let me take over this matter in my hands. I give you my words that there'll not be a single trace of any evidence left behind the murder scene and not even the experienced sons of the most fucking experienced and renowned detectives would be able to find his corpse which would be buried deep down the litters by then and about remnants, I can't guarantee you anything but if I'll feel even a little merrier after killing him then you may get the chance to recover his bones in the end. My sincerest apologies will always be with you-"

I grabbed my phone back roughly from her hands. "Rose! Have you lost your rubbish female mind?! That's Mia! Our friend and you're talking with her like this!? I mean yes, you can joke with her but what type of joke was that?! As if you would really kill Jake for-"

"I wasn't joking about the murdering part though."

"Then learn to joke with your friends. It comes in handy-"

"I would have acted upon your suggestion fast if it weren't for the fact that I am just behaving as a caring friend who is concerned about her friend's present state and so, I can decline your spiteful advise with my own consent." Rose yelled at me, her words coming out too dignified for her own good.

I shook my head, staring at her incredulously. "It wasn't any spiteful advise. And I am also your friend if by any means, you happened to run into some unfortunate accident and lost your valuable piece of a little corny brain to forget such an important event of your damned life!"

"Of course, you both are my lovely friends, though sometimes, I may doubt the credibility of my choice of friends, considering the amount of selflessness you two have in yourselves, but when your unpleasant time comes, Emily.." Rose put her right hand on my shoulder and I looked at her in confusion. "I can arrange even more advanced methods of burial for Edward, even better than what I have planned for Jake-"

We heard Mia snort from the call and a small smile broke into my own face, seeing Rose trying to stifle a laugh, which eventually transformed into a huge grin across her beauiful face.

"I will consider it as a grim joke." I said, chuckling vibrantly.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"Emily?" I heard Mia call my name.

Immediately, both of our attentions turned towards Mia. "Yes, Mia. I am listening."

"Do you think I should tell Jake?"

"I.. umm..I don't know actually. If you take my advise, I don't think you are really ready for bearing a child, both physically and mentally. It can be a grumeosme experience for you and for your career, if things didn't go your way. It's tough to nurture a child and give him care and attention. For now, my opinion would be to prefer an abortion-"

"No! Hell never! I don't want to abort it-"

"Mia, are you out of your mind-"

"I want to keep the baby. It's mine-"

"And Jake's as well. He deserves to know about it-"

"I'll tell him when the right time comes-"

"You don't understand the situation, do you!? Boys get scared when they are told of pregnancy out of nowhere!

They see it as an complusion to commit to that woman, and trust me, you don't want Jake to love you back just because he thinks you're his responsibility!? Would you ever want him to kiss you just because he's feeling guilty of everything he ever did to you!? Love is anything but an actions of a sudden guilt! I mean you weren't even in a relationship with Jake and now you are pregnant with his baby! What do you think he'll say!?"

"Then I'll not tell him anything about my pregnancy."

"Think straight, Mia! This baby will hinder all your prospects of ever having Jake-"

"I'll not choose anything above my baby!"

"Not even Jake?"

Mia took a deep breath. "If possible for me, then yes. Not even Jake."

"But he is the father-"

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him, I guess. After all, I am doing everything for his sake. He wanted me out of his life, I am merely doing what he wants. His life is a mess and he can't tolerate that it's all because of me. It can be anyone but me, he thinks-"

"Did Jake say all this to you!? Is that why you left him all of a sudden from that farmhouse!? Mia, you need to have some faith in yourself-"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I am fed up with everything-"

"That's why you want to bring the baby in this world!? Just because you're fed up with everything?! That's why you don't want Jake to know anything about-"

"The baby is mine, and so are my feelings and my future! So now I just want to live for myself and care for things which are mine!"

"You have to wait some-"

"I haven't left anything behind to wait for it-"

"But that baby needs his father."

"And I want my baby all to myself. I'll give him everything he can ever need. I'll be both his mother and the father and not a single day, he would be able to say to me that he misses his father in his life-"

"You're being too hard on him now, don't you think!?"

"I have been nothing but soft to him all this time, Emily. And I was going to continue being fragile if you wouldn't have remained me of how boys are scared of being informed of pregnancy. And here I was planning to tell him about it so I want to sincerely thank you for being so supportive-"

I closed my eyes in despair and cursed myself under my breath. "I didn't mean it that way, Mia. I swear I never meant-"

Edward owns a gun then why can't I?

I am equally eligible to have a gun just as Rose, Edward and Jake are!

But what about Mia, then! She also needs it just as much as I do.

"Do you have a gun, Mia?!"

"What? Why would I need a gun!?"

"For your safety against inevitable dangers! So do you have it or not!?"

"Well I don't really have it-"

"That's it! You need to protect yourself, Mia! How can you be so careless about these things, especially when you're at your weakest moments of life where anybody can easily take advantage of you-"

"And you think I would let them do it!?"

"Well I didn't actually mean it that way of course-"

"Just because I slept with Jake in my emotional turmoil doesn't mean that I would do that with anyone who comes by to coax my carnal desires!"

"I know you-"

"It was nice talking to you after a month, and I teribbly missed you all-"

"You have to listen to me properly, Mia! It concerns you-"

"Listen to you taking only Jake's side in whatever he does, right?! So that you can manipulate my decision and alter my situation anyway you want-"

"You have got it all wrong-"

"No, for the first time in my life, I feel like I am doing the right thing."

"That's where you're wrong, Mia! Try to understand!"

"I didn't call to fight with you so please, just let it go already-"

"Jake has finally come on terms with his feelings. He likes you back, Mia. He really does. It's just a matter of time before he would claim he loves you too, so please, don't back out now. It's everything you've ever wanted to come true and you need to be optimistic about all this. I admit Jake took a lot more time than was required to reciprocate your love but now- Mia! Hello! Hey! Are you there! Why aren't you replying-"

Rose snatched the phone from my hand, threw it roughly on my bed and turned towards me, only to meet with my infamous glare.

"What are you doing!? I was talking something important with Mia-"

"She hung up, didn't you know that!?"