I'm a Girl Undercover in An All Boy's School novel Chapter 65

"Thanks for stopping by Claire. See you next week," Dr. Felix, my therapist said, shaking my hand as I stood up from the couch. I thanked her before leaving her office then the building.

It'd been two weeks since the incident. Over that time I'd been to his funeral and I'd officially moved out of the boys' university with help from Caiden. I haven't spoken to any of my friends since then. Nathan and Mia have tried calling me every day, but I think they're finally getting the hint I wasn't going to answer. Yes, I knew it was bad I was pushing my friends away, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to hear all of their BS about it not being my fault. I didn't want to blame myself, but no matter what Dr. Felix said I couldn't help it. I didn't get there in time. I could have stopped him, I could have save him, but I didn't.

Stop thinking.

I clenched the wheel tighter and continued to drive to school. Trying to distract myself with the music I realized I had class in thirty minutes. You know there's nothing worse than going to the school next door to where my best friend took his life. At times I even wonder if I never went up there and watched it all would I have moved on faster. Would I still be depressed?

I pulled up at the school and parked. I quickly fixed my makeup in the mirror making sure I showed no signs that I was previously crying. I stepped out of my car and gasped when arms wrapped around my waist.

"Nathan put me down," I hissed smacking his hands, but he didn't let me go.

"You've been ignoring all of our calls for weeks." Nathan frowned his hands still on my waist even after he turned me to face him. "Claire-bear I've missed you."

"I need space, Nathan," I said pushing on his chest, but he kept his hands firmly on my waist.

"I won't let you push me away. I know you, Claire. You'll push everyone away until you're alone to wallow in your tears. Just like you did when Liam left," he said and I looked away from him. Nathan was right. It was what I did. I mean after all I've learned that was what I was best at.

There's nothing easier than pushing everyone away from you. You don't have to deal with the pitiful looks, the long speeches, you don't have to deal with reality.

"Nate I can't deal with it. I'm trying to fix myself. I see a therapist now for my depression! I'm trying okay!" I almost yelled at him and his look of pity started to show.

"I love you, you know that right?" he said, his hands cupping my cheeks now. "Mia and I will forever and always be by your side no matter how hard you try to push us away. I'm glad you're getting help. What you saw was tragedy. Not many people could be sane after seeing that. And I don't want you for one minute to feel alone through all of this Claire-bear."

"I love you too, Nathan," I mumbled putting my head on his chest embracing the hug he pulled me in to.

"I don't know how you are so strong," he mumbled, setting his head on top of mine.

"That's the thing though. I'm not strong, inside I'm just a broken girl."

"I think you need to talk to Caiden," he said after a few minutes.

"And I think that's a terrible idea. I haven't spoken to him since the day he dropped me off at my house," I said, pulling away.

"Hasn't he tried calling you at all?" Nathan asked me with a frown and I shrugged.

"A few times," I said, pulling my purse higher on my shoulder. "Listen I have class. I'll talk to you after. You better go over by your school before a teacher sees you." I gave him a quick hug before heading toward the building my class was in.

"You better call me missy or else!" he yelled after I was across the parking lot. For the first time in weeks a small smile slipped on my face. I'll admit it, I missed my best friend.

"Is there a reason you all are trying to make yourself look good for a teacher?" I asked and another girl pitched in. She had long, beautiful curled hair and had perfectly tanned skin; almost like Mia.

"Just wait till you see him Claire. This man is hot, single and straight."

"But you can't even have a relationship with him," I said frowning and a few girls chucked.

"I just want sex."

"When I finish this class I can date him."

Different answers came from the girls and I shook my head at them. Either way they shouldn't be making themselves look like whores. They all are beautiful in their own way. If this man only liked the girls for their bodies then he wasn't worth it.

"Claire!" Kayla, the strawberry blonde said snapping her fingers in my face."Mr. Keith will be here in one minute. Get ready." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"C'mon Claire. At least give yourself a sexy look. I mean you somehow made your uniform look freaking adorable just finish it off. Mess up your hair or something," she insisted, frowning. I messed up my blonde wavy hair a little and bit my lip. I almost laughed when she didn't realize I was pretty much mocking her.

"That'll do. I still suggest unbuttoning a few of these buttons and losing the bow tie, but whatever," Kayla said, winking at me. The door opened and everyone's eyes turned to Mr. Keith.

He was indeed very handsome, but I knew to not get involved with him in any way. He was my teacher and I couldn't use any male to make me forget what happened.