Alpha Damon novel Chapter 120

Sienna:

I didn’t storm off.

I didn’t run.

I didn’t even slam the door.

I just walked. Calm. Collected. Coffee cup empty in my hand and heart heavier than I wanted to admit. My footsteps echoed down the hall, but I didn’t look back. Not once.

Because I already knew what I would’ve seen.

Lysandra.

On him.

And him… not pushing her away soon enough.

Yes, he did push her away. But him being in the office in the first place, approaching her in the first place…

The number of thoughts that played in my head were countless, and no matter how hard I wanted to deny them, to ignore the pain, I knew that I could not.

I don’t know what I expected. Maybe nothing. Maybe something. Maybe just the decency of him stepping back before I stepped in. But no, I had to see it, the desperation in her eyes, the madness in her hands, and Damon standing still as if he didn’t know what to do. The way that he did not even approach me. The way that he froze by her side in front of her as if completely shocked.

I was just completely lost.

I hated how numb I felt.

I hated that I wasn’t surprised.

I hated the pain that I felt, and I hated that I knew that I should have expected it, and yet that I chose to give in to something that I knew was going to be difficult to step back from.

I pushed open the glass door of my office, set the mug down on my desk, and stared at the reflection of myself in the window. My face looked blank, but my chest was twisting.

Everything inside me felt like I was being completely torn down. I knew that he was going to come and speak to me, and though I knew that I did not have a response to give him, I did not want to find it in myself to weaken. He had given me so much, but I did not want to make him feel like I owed him. I was willing to step back if this was the cost of it. If my dignity was the cost of it, I was going to step back.

“Don’t cry,” I muttered under my breath. “You should not allow yourself to cry. Not for him, not for anyone.’

Because if I cried, it would mean I cared.

And if I cared, then she won.

That bitch would win.

”

And I sure as hell did not want her to win. I did not want her to have that satisfaction of believing that she managed to make me shed a tear.

“You didn’t cry. You didn’t break. That’s the kind of strength no one expects,” he added. “It’s the kind that makes people nervous. Especially people like her. And I think that you know where you are, that both you and Damon are not the same as Damon was with Lysandra. He is not the same man that he was with her.”

I gave a bitter smile, more to myself than him. “She should be nervous. Because I’m not running anymore. And I sure as hell won’t be crying. Whether or not he is the same man does not make a difference right now, does it? What I saw is something that I already did.”

Ethan looked like he wanted to say more, but instead, he just nodded. “You want me to get you out of here for a while? You are angry and you’re not thinking straight. I believe that this can help you.’

“No,” I said, inhaling slowly. “I’m done running from the tension. If she wants a war, I’ll be the storm.”

Ethan gave a half-smile. “That’s the Sienna I know.”

But once he left, the smile faded from my lips.

Because deep down, what hurt the most… wasn’t Lysandra.

It was him.

Damon.

Because no matter how strong I tried to be… I hated that a part of me still wanted him to choose me.

Because even for a moment, the fear that he could just choose her was one that I knew that I shouldn’t be living with was one that I did not want to live with…