The Austin Arrangement novel Chapter 6

Standing at my Mother's grave holding a bouquet of Daffodils in my hand,I felt the unbearable sadness looking back at the crazy night that took her from us.

I never would have thought that at such a young age,Finley and I would be without parents to care for us.

We weren't little kids that needed our Mom and Dad to tuck us in at night,but we still needed them all the same.

I wish things were different!!

I wish we knew who did this to us,who ruined our family by running that stop sign.

The person responsible for this is a coward and a killer,who needs to own up to their actions.

"Life is cruel."I muttered,as I placed the Daffodils down on my Mother's grave.

"Our parents wouldn't want you to hold on to that anger,Ness.

It's been a year,we need to move forward and try to be happy."

My brother is a better person than I am,maybe that's because he doesn't know the full extent of someone's actions.

Yes that drunk driver tore our family apart,but the aftermath of that is the constant struggle that resulted in my marriage to the Devil himself.

I wanted someone to pay,Just like we have been since the accident..And just like I will be for the next 359 days.

Don't get my wrong,I'm grateful for Tom's offer and I know that Finley's career would be gone if it wasn't that I didn't accept..But every silver lining has a cloud..

That big dark cloud is my Husband.

The September weather was here and the rain started to pour,I sniffled back tears as I stood in my soaking wet trench coat. My hair clung to my bare completion whilst my eyes were fixated on the swirling gold lettering on my Mother's headstone.

"We should get going,Ness."

I wanted to tell him..("No,Not yet..You go on without me.")But I know my brother,I know he won't leave without me no matter what I say.

I turned to my brother and smiled lightly,a front to show I was okay and he didn't have to worry."Sure,Let's get going."

Finley and I walked through the cemetery soaked to the skin,the sky above us was Grey and cloudy.

It was fitting for the occasion that was today,a day of sorrow and despair.

A day full of emotions and none of them were good ones.

"I have to get back to campus,I have a late make up class this evening that I need to prepare for."

I glanced over at my brother as he walked alongside me."You're not coming?"

"I can't..I'm sorry. But I'll go during the week when I get a break from classes,I promise."

I leaned in and gave my brother a hug."It's okay,I'll see you Sunday the usual place.

Don't be late this time."

He chuckled,pulling back from my embrace."I won't. See you,Ness."

I waved my brother off and walked towards the waiting car. It was good of Tom to do this for me,to give me the support that I needed despite not knowing me all that well.

I slipped into the passengers seat and closed the car door.

Tom looked over at me."Are you okay, Darling?"

"I'm fine."I sighed."I keep thinking that it's going to get easier but it never does. It still hurts just as much as it did a year ago."

"You will always feel that Loss for them,you'll learn to make room for the other emotions too.

They will always be with you..No matter what."

I looked over and smiled lightly."Thank you,Tom.I needed that."

"You're Welcome,Darling."He pulled out of our parking space.

"So I take it you haven't told my son where you are today?"

I shook my head."No,I'm sure he's busy. I don't want to distract him when he's working.

Honestly I'd rather keep this between us,If that's okay?"

"That's okay with me. Remember,you have a year with Jeremy,It might be a good idea to get to know each other."

Tom glanced over at me."The hospital next?"

She smiled lightly and rubbed my shoulder,I think it was her way of showing comfort because she didn't know what to say.

Judy is a woman in her early fifties that's taken care of my Father this past year.

"Who brought that expensive bouquet of flowers?"I nodded my head in it's direction.

"Oh Them,I don't know. They were delivered from the florist and there was no card left with them.

Very expensive bunch,Aren't they?"

Maybe an old friend of my Father's had them delivered since it's the anniversary."They're nice,I wish I could thank whoever paid for them."

"So it's almost a week to the day. You kept that man of yours very quite,I didn't know you were seeing anyone.

I always got the impression that it was just you and Finley."

I looped a strand of hair behind my ear in awkwardness,I hate lying to people."Well Jeremy and I met and knew we were meant to be together,we didn't want to wait."

She smiled."Life is too short. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks,Judy. I'm happy with him."

I looked down at the massive rock on my finger with my wedding band alongside it.

If only they knew what went on behind closed doors.

Judy left the room and I continued reading aloud to my Father,one last poem before I leave.

The weekend I dreaded because Jeremy doesn't work on the weekend so I'm sure he's going to be home more.

I need to make myself scarce tomorrow,a day with Natasha would be nice. I've missed her since I've moved out.

I pressed a kiss to my Father's forehead."See you next week,Dad."

I left the room and walked the corridor towards the elevator.

"Vanessa.."

I heard Judy's voice call and I turned around."Is everything okay?"