Adopted novel Chapter 59

The past couple of weeks has been disturbing with nightmares after nightmares, the fear to close my eyes sets in everyday and I know the pills I am been given to take is meant for me to sleep but I find it difficult to sleep or should I say I don't want to sleep. I find myself giving in to the constant hurts I feel, it's as if something is trying to tear itself out of me and it's painful, I feel continuous aches in my heart to the extent that I feel like writing my heart out of my chest. They all want to know what the nightmares are about but what will be their reactions when they know, I will be casted away like a person with rabid ailments, my parents will blame me for my weakness and my new-found friends will stay away from my useless being.

How can I tell them that I am impure, that I have been used in many ways I can't assert by people I don't know and people I do know but can't do anything to, how can I tell them that I am just an empty shell of a person I never was, a person I wish I knew and a person I want to be, how do I tell them who I am, about what i have been through and about my nightmare when I don't even know who i am to start with. I have tried embarking on journeys to find who I am before the first incident but I keep coming up to nothing, I am a nobody, a weed, a pest, an outsider in a world that I am not needed, a place where my being isn't acknowledged and a space that should belong to someone else but me. What will my parents do when they find out that the baby they left in front of that orphanage isn't a baby no more, the innocent baby they left behind is no more innocent? Will they think I sold my body to those who used it or will they think I am vulnerable?

I watch everyone come into my room everyday sit on my bed and keep talking about their lives, I listen to them tell me thing they wish I was there to witness or participate in with them and I ask myself how important am I to them? The girls Ava and Mila talk about different things, they talk about school and how our locker room is renovated all thanks to Lorenzo but I don't know the locker room they talk about during their talks I found out they are influential people who were born and brought up with silver spoons and they know nothing about the harshness of the world.

Mila talks about the gossips going around the globe from the industries to the houses of the famous people while Ava talks about art and food most times, they are fun to be with even when I don't respond to any questions thrown at me and I except them to be pissed off about it but they laugh about it and talk about something else, I found out Lorenzo and Theo likes me and it will be entertaining to Mila when they start contest on who will be my boyfriend. I have never had a boyfriend before talk less of having guys fight for me which according to Mila is adorable because they are both wealthy and their parents are also wealthy, so it will be the money doing most of the fight.

I listen to mom and dad come in also to talk about their day, they talk about I and Sky birth and how happy dad was when he found out he was a father turned out I don't have to be angry at them because the reason for all the pains and torture I and Sky ever went through was because of our birth mother who is now dead and also our mom's twin sister, complicated right? Mom always holds me in her arm when she comes to visit and she whisper how much she loves me and how sorry she is for not finding me earlier.

While dad talks about how useless all his earned funds are when it comes to helping me recover but what they don't know is their love is enough for me and it's all I ever wanted, they gave me what I have always dreamt of having a name, they gave me a family of my own with friends who cares about me and wants what is best for me, they gave me a new side of life where I know I will find hard to belong in but I have people to navigate me round it. I found out mom has been the one managing my own company on my behalf and attending events also, I found out I had a room filled with bunches of flowers, wish cards, chocolates, cookies and gift prams from well-wishers and fans.

I listen to the boys also come around to talk about their work but in Lorenzo and Theo cases their companies, they tell me about their latest songs, movies and endorsements which I am proud of because at their age they already have wealth that will last them a lifetime especially Lorenzo. He doesn't talk much when he comes that's why Michael comes with him to keep me company by talking about almost everything from his tours to his fans, he plays his songs for me most times but he has to use the earphones because Lorenzo calls his music noises which is a total lie, Lorenzo works on his phone or laptop when he comes around.

Rafael visits with Gabriel and their company is more fun to be around because they talk about everything with excitement in their voices, they notice the tears that keeps running down my eyes and wipe them immediately, they try to make me laugh by cracking stupid jokes and making foolish faces to each other which results to more laughter from both party but they leave earlier than the rest because of practice and shoots. Theo and Liam are also a fun company with their constant bricking and it's nice watching them fight over every conversation, they play quite games which I always win but I think they invented that game because of me and me winning earns me lots of money and gifts, my best company are my brothers.