Her Mate, The School's Player novel Chapter 77

What the fuck. No. I can't believe I even thought of doing that but I can't help it because Alec has gotten into my head and he's messing with it. Amber loves me and I love her. Neither of us would ever cheat, I know she wouldn't but yet I still wanted to check her phone. How would he know that I've been gone for a few hours on pack meetings? The only explanation is that what he was saying is the truth.

No, it's not. He's just messing with you to not trust her. But then again...he did touch her today but when I asked if he did anything else Amber said he didn't and yet he said he kissed her. Maybe she lied to me because she knew I'd be mad. She also didn't stop him from touching her, but that was because she was so scared to, who else wouldn't be? But then again, I've never smelt another man on her, but she could have washed it off. I don't know what to do or how to think. I'm ashamed and disgusted at myself for even thinking that she might have cheated.

This is going to make me become a control freak and I hate those types of boyfriends. I go inside and hear everyone cheering from the sitting room. I see Amber's school bag on the kitchen counter. It was ripped at one side from her attack today. She always keeps her phone in her bag. Maybe I can take a quick check now. I look around the room to make sure no one was here and then when I find no one I check her bag for her phone. I take it out and open her messages. Amber enters the room, laughing and then notices me.

"Hey, bab- Is that my phone?" she asks. I drop her phone from fright of being caught and she hurries over to pick it up since I was frozen to my spot. What excuse can I use?! "Oh, no, hopefully it's not broken. Phew, it's okay. Did I get a call or something, baby?"

"Um, no, nothing," I stutter.

"Why were you on my phone then?" she asks confused. Why is she getting so defensive? What is she hiding? This is suspicious. Oh, no, Alec has fucked with my head completely now.

"I-I-I don't know."

"Honey, what's wrong, you're acting weird. Did things go bad with Alec?"

"It went horrible," I disclose.

"It's all over now, baby, everything's okay, I love you and I appreciate everything you've done."

"Yeah."

"No, it's mine, not yours," she says. Maybe she is hiding something. "My phone is none of your business."

"What are you hiding on it that I can't see?!" I accuse and she gasps with shock. She starts to cry and move away for me.

"I can't believe you of all people would think I was hiding something. I can't believe you're thinking I'm cheating or something. You're one to talk; you've cheated on lots of people. I've never cheated and I never will because I love you and don't like hurting the people I love. I'm totally committed to you, you're my mate and I'm in love with you, why can't you see that, Damian? I can't believe you accused me of something like that." I feel so unbelievably horrible. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I don't believe she'd ever cheat. It was just Alec getting to me and making me jealous. I've made her cry and I hate myself for doing all of this. I love her so much and I'm appalled at my behaviour. I'm not myself when I'm mad especially when I'm this mad, I feel like a volcano ready to explode.

"I'm so sorry, Amber, Alec got to me, he was saying all this stuff. You don't know how much I hate myself and how sorry I really am."

"Leave me alone, it makes me sick that you'd think something like that, especially accuse me. I don't care about your lame, made-up excuse. I don't want to talk to you." She walks away and I was left feeling broken inside. I slide down the fridge and cry my eyes out. What kind of monster am I? I didn't mean any of it. I've probably lost her and the twins forever now. What have I done? Look what Alec's done to me! "Actually, here, take my fucking phone and read all my messages. Nearly all of them are about you and how much I love you. Here's your fucking proof," she shouts, storming back in. She throws the phone at my feet and I look up with shock at her. "Go on, read them since you were so anxious to do beforehand."