My Innocent Girl novel Chapter 55

"Vinc-"

"You are at home, right?"

"Y-yes"

"I am coming" the call ended.

I so wanted him to stay. I so wanted to stop him from bringing any divorce papers but I... I stopped because he doesn't... l-love me. He said it once. And one should never let a man show someone twice that he doesn't want her.

I closed my eyes as my heart got heavy. I wanted him to stay! If it was any other reason, we would have worked it out, but... he doesn't love me!

I cried. I couldn't hold it back. I sat down on the floor as I felt weak. Oh god, I should get up and be strong. He must be coming. I don't know if he is already in LA or still in Paris. So I have no idea how long he will take to come but he shouldn't see me like this.

He shouldn't think that I am nothing without him. I am, but... not right now. I feel so empty without him. It is like... he is stabbing me but I can't stop it, because he wants to. It is like, I don't know. I want him to be with me. I want him to love me but the worst part? We can never make anyone love us and most of the time, the people we love, don't love us back.

I wiped my tears and got up but fresh tears continued to come. I couldn't believe what was going on. Why was I behaving so immaturely. I should know that if he doesn't know my worth, I have to walk away.

I was fine. Why did he have to call me? His call made me realise that I was acting. I need him and even I know that deep inside. 

I got up and went to my room on the first floor. I closed the door and sat on the bed. I took a few deep breaths and then sighed. 

This is so frustrating.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. That didn't seem to make things better, so I decided to take a bath.

I came out and went downstairs. He must be in Paris that's why he hasn't come till now. Well, it is good. I want him to stay away. 

Divorce papers.

Will I be strong enough to sign them?

I know I love him. But the way he told me on my face that he doesn't... I just can't do this to myself anymore. I have to stay away, control myself and my feelings because I have something known as self-respect and dignity. He might be very important to me and my life, but he still is not more important than my dignity.

I will sign those papers and move on. People will always come and go in one's life. We can't just stop living because of that. 

I went to the kitchen and made some breakfast. After eating it, I just used my phone. I was waiting for him for many reasons. Maybe I think I wanted to see him. Or maybe I wanted this all to be over fast. I don't know what was making me restless to meet him.

His voice made me forget my senses. That voice... It is so good. so sweet and still a little rough which makes it damn sexy.

"Ashley"

I came back to my senses and looked at him. He still hadn't even looked at me. He was just looking at the table. So much so that he wouldn't have known if I wasn't Ashley. 

"Y-yes" I said.

"Sit"

I scoffed. Why would I sit? It is up to me, this is my fucking house. 

"Nope"

"Fine. Sign"

He gave me the paper, still looking at the ground. What is he showing, huh? Suddenly I am so worthless that he doesn't even wanna look at me? He is making me feel something like untouchable! Why! It is him who should be ashamed, he played such a dirty game of showing that he loves me!