I'll Take This Pain novel Chapter 10

"This is the last time I'm asking you this,

put my name at the top of your list.

This is the last time I'm asking you why,

you break my heart in the blink of an eye,"

- The Last Time by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody

I was completely and utterly paralyzed and numb. Everything was bright, I could see a blinding light flaring onto my closed eyelids. I heard a soft and soothing whisper in my mind, it made my muscles relax. I tried to answer back but couldn't, I was paralyzed but I tried. There was an internal obligation for me to answer that soothing voice. "Yeah?" I said in a hoarse voice, my tongue and throat seizing up from dryness. I tried to open my eyes but they wouldn't budge, it was like they were weighted down by two rocks. You can do it. I kept trying until they finally budged, a twitch of my eyes. I tried again and finally my eyes opened.

Everything looked so pure, white and strong sunlight streaming in from the windows. My wrist throbbed, my head ached, my body tired and my mind exhausted. Someone cleared their voice in a very polite way near the door, I turned my head that was on a pillow to see a beautiful lady standing there. Long curly brown hair that flowed beautifully, ocean blue eyes and beautiful full lips. There was a glow emanating from her, a golden glow that made her look like a real goddess. She stepped closer to me in her beautiful golden dress. Her dress was quite fitting for her top and it hung off her shoulder by a strap. It flowed down with small folds.

"Scarlett..." She said in a voice that was soft and calming. Her voice made you want to tell her everything. Her voice was honey coated. She stepped closer and pulled the plastic chair near the bed and sat down. "Where am I?" I croaked. She turned to the bedside table and poured some water out of a jug into a cup. She softly lifted my head and put the cup to my mouth as I drank thirstily. After finishing the water, she slowly put my head back down and put the cup to the side.

"You're in a hospital room. What you did was unexpected Scarlett, no one thought you would try to kill yourself again after they announced your sister as Luna. I was shocked myself but I had to save you Scarlett. I couldn't let you die because you are the rightful Luna of the Broken Shadows Pack. This will not be the last time I'll be saving you Scarlett and I hope you understand that. Your mate, Caleb is actually sitting right next to your hospital bed right now in real life but this is just a dream Scarlett. An illusion but a real one. I hope this will be the last time I'll be talking to you but you never know. You're a surprise Scarlett. You deserve to live and you never deserved everything that happened to you. You're beautiful Scarlett." She said and reached up to stroke my hair out of my face. 3

"Who are you?" I asked in a less hoarse voice. She smiled and continued stroking my hair. "I'm the Moon Goddess or the match-maker as you all sometimes call me." She said still smiling. I never imagined the Moon Goddess like this, she was impossibly beautiful. She was more beautiful than they described her in the stories that I've heard. After years of imaging what the Moon Goddess would look like, she didn't even come close to my imagination. She was prettier than my imaginations.

"Why did you want to save me? I wanted to die, Moon Goddess. You could've just let me die." I said truthfully and I didn't feel ashamed. "You can't die. Like I said before Scarlett, you are the rightful Luna of your pack. I can't let you die until you fulfill your place of Luna and take care of your pack." She said and held my hand.

"He doesn't want me." I said looking down at our interlocked hands. "He does. He's been regretting his decisions." She said, rubbing my thumb with hers soothingly. "Okay." I said and sighed. She smiled as she continued rubbing my thumb.7

"Again. You surprised me Scarlett. I thought you were going to deny." She said. I smiled for real this time. She stood up still holding my hand. "I got to go now child. Take care for me, you're beautiful Scarlett. You can do anything, don't let yourself down. Don't let me down, don't let your pack down honey. It was great to meet you Scarlett, I adore you. You're a fighter honey. Take care and I think you should forgive the poor guy." She said then kissed my forehead. I grinned. 55

"How many days have I been out?" I whispered. "A week." Caleb said as he continued stroking my hair. "I told you I wouldn't let you die Scarlett. You still have a lot of things to do on Earth and I wouldn't let you die just yet." The Moon Goddess said and lightly put my hand back on the bed. I smiled at her again and finally realized that I've been smiling truthfully for quite a few times now.

A few real smiles.

"You're doing great, honey. I know it may seem impossible but keep staying strong." The Moon Goddess said and kissed my forehead, leaning down to my ear and whispering, "He needs you," before turning to leave. Caleb stopped stroking my hair and sat down on the side of the bed.

"I'm sorry Scarlett, I know it's absolutely stupid and inexcusable but when I saw you; I freaked out. I didn't know what to do. I wanted my pride, my shitty ego and the only way to still remain was to reject you. I do regret my decision, especially since I almost lost you twice. When I saw you jump off the cliff, I was so afraid that I would lose you. When dad forced me to announce Lindsay as my Luna, I didn't want it but I was forced to. Seeing you there broke my heart, you were so broken and fragile. Your arms wrapped around yourself whilst trying to control your breathing and when you turned around and ran, I felt fire burn through my wrist. That's when I knew something horrible was going to happen and I ran to make sure that you were okay but there you were, lying weak and limp. It broke my heart to know that it was because of me, you were in that situation. I can't lose you Scarlett, I'm so sorry." He said with tears streaming down every time he blinked his tired eyes. I kept my eyes on him, watching his every move when the pain in my wrist slowly started fading.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his waist, nestling my face into his shoulder. He moved gently and put an arm around my waist, kissing my temple. "I'm so sorry baby." I felt tears roll from my eyes onto his shirt. "Forgive him Scar." My wolf said softly.

"It's okay." I said in a muffled voice, my head still nestled in his shoulder. We sat there in silence, soaking up each other's emotions when the door flew open. A high-pitched voice floated in, "That's my mate, you suicidal attention seeking whore. I always knew you were a fucking slut."