I'll Take This Pain novel Chapter 9

"Our love was made to rule the world,

you left me wanting what we were,"

- Forget Forever by Selena Gomez

I've been released from the confinements of the white walls for 2 days and I've been sitting in my attic room. I've not done much other than clean, cook, wash, dance and hurt myself. I know I should stop but I still feel the pain from the glares and the stares. I've been known as 'The Omega who failed her suicide attempt". It sucks to be known as that but at least I'm known as something other than the Omega. Everything remained the same, no one talked or touched me but I could always feel their piercing glares. Caleb was another issue, he's been hiding in the backgrounds. I rarely see him anymore, but I don't really care. My wolf has been whining all day and every day to see or be in Caleb's arms. I can't deny that he is attractive but when I see Caleb, he usually has his arms wrap around my sweet darling little sister. It hurt to see them like that but if that made them happy, I'll be happy.

Lindsay looked smaller than she used to be. Her eyes were tired but she still had the 'I'm-the-future-Luna-so-I-don't-give-a-poop-attitude'. My parents looked tired and weak but they still were the same old stubborn people I once knew, I once loved. I was still trying to heal from my concussion. The doctors said that I was fine and they let me out but the truth is, it hurts a lot. I still have that bandage wrapped around my head because they said that the stitches needed to be protected from bacteria. It seems pretty unnecessary to me but I'm still wearing it. "May all pack members of the Broken Shadows Pack meet at the front lawn of the pack house in fifteen minutes." A loud voice said, a voice that was familiar and scary but I couldn't put a finger around it. The voice made me want to hide, to cower behind something and just disappear.

I was young, around 12. I was trying to make waffles for myself when the waffles caught on fire. I was so scared that I shouted for help and the Alpha came running in. He put out the fire and turned to me with hatred and anger in his eyes. He looked like he could kill me just by looking at me. "You worthless piece of shit! I told you to do something not ruin the kitchen and almost set the whole house on fire!" He was angry, so angry that he could shift into his wolf. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as everyone watched him shout at me. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up from my defeated position on the floor. I was dangling by my hair and my feet couldn't touch the ground. It felt like he was trying to pull my scalp off. I was whimpering because of the pain while more tears streamed down my face.

"I, Alpha Asher, ranks you as the Omega of the Broken Shadows Pack. You will do everything we want you to do and anything. You will listen to me and every other pack member. You will be punished if you disobey. Accept your fate, Scarlett Rose Davis." He said with so much hate and anger. I whimpered again and swallowed a lump in my throat. "I, Scarlett Rose Davis, accepts my fate and will be the Omega of the Broken Shadows Pack. I will do everything you want me to do and anything. I will listen to the Alpha and every other pack member. I will be punished if I disobey." I said softly. I don't know how it came but it was like I memorized it, like I was meant to say it. Alpha Asher let go of my hair and I dropped back onto the floor in a heap of tears and broken sobs.

"No. Please." My wolf whimpered. She was in pain, howling while I tried my best to not go up to the podium and tell everyone that I am his true mate. However, he rejected me therefore I am no longer his mate. I wrapped my arms around myself and slowly breathed in. You can do it, Scarlett. Hang on. I held on tighter to myself and tried to concentrate on my breathing. I was no longer listening to anyone but was in my own little world. I was still concentrating on my breathing when I felt a gaze on me. Looking up, my dull brown eyes connected with his ocean blue eyes which were filled with sorrow and regret. I lifted the corners of my lips into a small smile, it was fake but it was easy.

"I am so honored to be your Luna and to have Caleb as my mate, he is so attractive and like physically strong. As your Luna, you must all listen to me and don't cause any troubles. I have the authority to punish you if you ever get in my way and like, Caleb will deal with you. Girls, please stop eyeing my mate. I know he's like, so hot but-" She was suddenly cut off by Alpha Asher as he cleared his throat and shot her a warning look. Lindsay gulped and immediately put down the microphone, curling into Caleb's side. I turned around and walked away from the front lawn and went back into the house. My arms were still wrapped around myself as I reached my attic room.

Tears filled the corners of my eyes as I started crying, my breaths getting heavier as times go by. I fell onto the bed and started screaming into the pillow. I felt weak and lost, my screams turning into sobs. Internally, it felt like I was being ripped apart. I reached for the razor that I put under my mattress and held it in-between my thumb and second finger. Let's just try it again Scarlett. Maybe this time we'll succeed? I let the razor run across my wrist and saw the blood oozing out through my blurry eyes. I ran the razor across my wrist once more to make the cut deeper as the pain on my wrist deepened. Everything was spinning, becoming white. My eyes drooped and breaths became shallow. I fell back onto the bed and I closed my eyes. Suddenly, the door slammed open and a gasp. "No baby, please. I'm sorry, stay with me. Don't close your eyes, don't fucking close your eyes." A husky voice said, lifting me into their warm embrace. I rested my weak body into their chest and closed my eyes.