Daddy's Little Angel novel Chapter 26

Angels POV

Today hasn't really been productive. All the classes I had went by as a blur. I was present in person, but my mind was far away, with my dad, back in my dreams. I know I shouldn't do this to myself, it's unhealthy, but I can't help thinking about him. It's kind of ironic 'cause all I spent the last one and half year doing is trying to forget about his existence.

I try not to remember his name, but when I do, I try to forget who he his to me, just to ensure saying his name over and over doesn't feel so wrong.

I try not to think about how good his lips felt against mine, but I can't, so I try to forget who I am to him just to make myself feel better.

But all in all, who am I kidding but myself? It's not possible to forget the name of someone who consumes your every being, and it's even more difficult to forget how the slightest touch from that person makes your inside burn with passion. The same way I can't forget he is my dad and I am his unfilial child who can't keep her thoughts about her biological father platonic.

When I say is name, all I see is me beneath him, tangled between the sheet, muffled gasp, as I beg him to consume me.

When I picture him smiling, I wish I can lock that expression in a box, so that only I, would get to see it.

When I picture him moaning, it's my name I hear rolling off of his luscious lips.

I am insane. Utterly, insane, but who do I tell that I'm completely ruined for other men cause of a man I can't stake my claim on, my father?

I have always been attracted to my father. First, it was adoration for a man that took care of my needs, then it was admiration for a man that was successful in every thing he put his mind towards. Soon, it became a wish in my heart to find someone that will understand me completely like he does, then George came along the line, still, there was this longing I couldn't understand for wholeness. Finally, it hit me in the head like a racing truck and all that I could see was him. All I could feel was undiluted attraction for a man who was in a relationship with someone else, Nora.

I couldn't stand the sight of them together. A fraction of me dies every time I see them intimate, It felt like she was stealing something important from me and unconsciously rubbing the fact that she stole my man in my face. I hated her, but at the same time, I couldn't hate her. She was in her right, while I was in the wrong. She wasn't a horrible person either, making it almost impossible to hold anything against her. Always putting other people's needs before hers.

As I proceed towards my dorm, I hear the grumbling of the thunder and barks of lightening, all foretelling the coming storm.

Looking up to see the darkening cloud, I can't help the smile that crept up my face as the wind blew through my hair and tiny rain droplets kissed my face. I love storms. Every single thing about it.

In this moment I wish I was home with my dad, cuddling and watching a movie,as I try to distract my father from his fear of the storm.

Speaking of storms, I wonder if it's raining at his end. If it is, what his doing presently? Probably working late on some business matters just to get his mind off the storm, or he has moved on, and he is in the company of a woman.

My heart sinks at the thought of the latter being the case. I feel like boarding the next available plane back home at that thought. But just like I had always done in the past, I swallowed that feeling as I slowly dragged my heavy heart home in the storm while my heart, cooks up a storm of its own, terrifying me to no end. All through the way to my dorm all I could ask my self was how do I survive this storm? How...?