New Wolf novel Chapter 98

"What if I can't stop?" I suddenly said. "I'll kill all of you."

"Not necessarily. You usually go for the bad guys, but I don't want to risk that you won't just turn on anyone."

"Maybe we shouldn't then..."

"We have to. You just have to find the will to stop."

"And what if I can't?"

"Then think of your father. Do it for him."

*Sage wasn't in the house when I got there. He was out with Troy, Scott and Alaric shielding the pack off from the Raiders if they ever came. The shield was artificial since Alaric wasn't a Warlock, so we don't know how long it was going to hold up. We can go into the pack and out but the Raiders can't come in. It only stressed how much harder we all have to be working even though, everyone's mostly waiting for me.

I sank into the bath and let the water scald my skin. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I sunk deeper into the water, almost like boiling spaghetti. I think I'm more stressed thinking about this war than preparing for it. Troy said he's gonna start my 'personal' training tomorrow and I could already feel the tears that are going to be shed. I was worried, and when I was worried, I worry.

I felt the presence of another before the contact of their skin to my back scared the daylights out of me. I opened my eyes to find myself being pushed further pass the center of the bath and I pulled my knees to my chest in an attempt to slow me down. Sage grabbed my thighs and pulled me back between his legs, where I remain quiet for a while.

I don't know how I knew it was him. I was his room still, but it could have been a Raider or a hallucination. I have an alternate personality now so anything could be possible right about now.

"I heard you were getting better." he said, but I didn't find it anything to be proud of.

"Could you hold me tighter?" I replied stiffly, and in a monotone.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I chuckled lightly. "I don't know if I can."

"What's bothering you?"

I paused. "I just don't want to hurt anybody. Especially...you."

"You won't."

"I've...killed before."

"So have I," he said matter-of-factly.

"You're different. When I did it...it was torture. I wanted them to suffer before they died."

"But that wasn't you."

"I could still become like that."

"No, you won't. I know you're stronger than that, Hanna. It won't change you."

"How do you guys do this all the time? I've only been apart of this for three months and I'm ready to throw in the towel."

"When you grow up around this stuff, it becomes normal."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It was."

"She told me what happened. It wasn't, your, fault."

"I wasn't strong enough."

"There was nothing you could do. It was four against one. What she did probably save your life."

"But I couldn't save hers."

"But she's okay now."

"Not really. No one could brush off two years of kidnapping like that. I'm surprised how fast you bounced back."

"Yeah," I said, mostly to myself.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I said a lot stronger this time. "I'm just tired. It's past three in the morning and yesterday was too long and dreary."

"Okay." he kissed my face. "And I've been thinking, we've been going out for a while now and we haven't even been on a date yet. So after training tomorrow, I wanna take you somewhere."