The Runt novel Chapter 17

"I don't want to go back, I want to stay here with you Mom," I tell her for what feels like the hundredth – no, the millionth time. Wherever 'here' is – it is perfect and I never want to leave. There is only Mom and I and we've had nothing but time to catch up on everything we missed being apart while I was growing up – it has been incredible! It's odd calling someone who is younger than I am my Mom but that is how unfair life is sometimes - no one ever said it was just.

Wherever 'here' is, time is eternal. We're in a meadow enjoying a picnic, our she-wolves playing together in the distance. Even further off is a large forest, precisely what our wolves need and a couple of kilometers away is a beautiful pond which is a perfect spot for a rest at the end of a long run. 'Here' is utopia geographically, I'm alone with my Mom and I get to play with Nova – why on earth would I ever go back to the nightmare I was living in before?

"You have so much more to do there, you aren't meant to be here – it isn't our time yet," my Mom insists, despite me wanting to hear nothing of the sort. Every word she says is like a slap in my face, additional emotional torment after everything else I've already endured.

"Please Mom, no. Back there is-" I try to plead my case but she'll hear none of it. For someone who had motherhood taken unfairly from her, she is playing the part extremely well now. The more I refuse, the more she insists otherwise to the point I'm getting upset while she remains calm and resolute. Nova returns to my side, sensing my distress while Mom's she-wolf sits calmly beside her, not understanding what all of the fuss is about.

"Trust in our Goddess, my darling daughter, trust in our Goddess," she says repeatedly, almost as if chanting. The phrase keeps repeating over and over again, never-ending as Mom begins to disappear in a bright glow of light. Her face seemingly dissolves in an ever-expanding ball of blinding luminescence that I can't look directly at, but yet can't look away from. I squeeze my eyes shut against its' harshness, suddenly terrified of what is happening – wondering where my Mom has gone.

I feel Nova beside me, pushing against me harder and harder until I'm sure she's going to knock me over and then suddenly the pressure disappears entirely. Frightened by her abrupt absence, I feel around in the white light but find nothing.

Instead I allowed her to be hidden away like a secret I was ashamed of – which couldn't be further from the truth. I found my mate and I couldn't be more excited or proud of it! I want to shout it from the rooftops to everyone and anyone who will listen but instead I allowed myself to be embarrassed by her, because my father doesn't deem her worthy to be Luna to this pack. We're at this point because of him and because I allowed it – we both may as well have held the blades for her.

We're both just as complicit.