Daddy's Little Angel novel Chapter 39

All through my way home I couldn't help but ponder if I wasn't the one who got tricked instead of it being the other way round. I mean, I don't think a gay guy kisses a woman the way that he did. Maybe I'm just overthinking this like I usually do. It shouldn't bother me, I'd not be seeing him any time soon and if I do, we probably won't recognize each other. So it's fine. I thought to myself.

On getting home, I find my dad sitted on my bed, head bowed.

I was feeling a thousand emotions that I couldn't really understand, but there was no denying the swam of butterflies in my stomach. Even in the deem light of my room he looked eye catching.

If things weren't so complicated I probably would have showed how excited I was to see him or jump his bones on sight. But of cause, I didn't go through with my thoughts.

"Dad is that you?" I asked instead

"You're back"

He said without looking up.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"You don't need to do that, We both know nobody's home and they sure wouldn't be back till tomorrow." He informed me still not looking at me.

"I know that." I retorted giving a mental eyeroll.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to bathe and change for bed." I said, hinting for him to take his leave.

"Go ahead, I'll wait here." He answered nonchalantly.

This frustrated me to know end for reasons I knew nothing about. It's not like he was gonna watch me undress, I was going to the bathroom to do that so why was I getting worked up? Maybe it's the way he said it that didn't sit well with me.

"You can't be serious" I fired back, glaring at his figure.

This made him sit up straight, as he gave me a side glance from where he was sitted for a second before looking the other way.

"What's there to hide? Not like I haven't seen it all. Besides, I'll be sitting right here while you go into the bathroom to change. I don't see the reason for you to get your panties in a twist." He clarified, making no attempt to leave.

"What is it you want with me Dad?

Leave my room, I don't want to see you." I barked out even though that was a fat lie. I wanted to see him, I wanted to see him in more ways than one but he doesn't have to know that.

I walked over to my window and stared out into the dark not wanting him to notice how much his presence affected me.

"Are you sure you don't wanna see me?" He asked.

"Yes, I don't"

I growled back, not daring to face him with my lies.

I felt his presence behind me before I felt his hands on my hip and his breath fan my neck.

"Dad, what do you think you're doing?" I asked trying hard not to come loose in his embrace.

"Nothing" he replied, burying his face further into my neck as he took in ragged breaths.

Something was wrong , but I was afriad to ask what it was.

"Angel come back home" he whispered sweetly into my ears.

"This is home." I responded stubbornly.

"Move in with me" he persuaded.

"Why should I?" I retorted.

It was childish for me to act this way but I couldn't help myself.

"I miss you..." he answered

"What exactly about me do you miss?"

"Do you miss me or you miss having someone to warm your bed since Nora has left?" I inquired.

"Angel! Why say such absurd things? Of cause I Miss you and it's not just because of your body" He tried to assure me. Turning me around to face him.

"I've been going crazy thinking of you this past months. I couldn't function properly, I have been having sleepless nights kicking myself in the balls at how I fucked things up with you.

I've been trying to set things straight. You said you were willing to make this work has long as I cleaned up my mess. Angel help me out here..."he continued to speak.

" I can't do this on my own if you keep making things difficult and pushing me away. He concluded holding me closer to him.

Taking a good look at him now that we were only breaths apart, made me take note of how lean he had become. He had dark circles under his eyes, crisis on his forehead and he was in desperate need of a shave. The man standing before me looked lost, a shadow of his former self. It hurt me to see him this way. I love him and I do want to make things work between us but I wasn't ready to face it all just yet.

"I know, I'm sorry, I need time. I finally whispered. Cautious as to how he would react.

"Time? " He asked, looking at me like I was being impossible.

"I have given you enough time, right now I'm on a thin rope, but if time is what you need , I'll give it to you." He said as he freed me from his hold and made his way toward the door.

I was torn. I didn't want him to leave but I couldn't agree to his request.

"Don't make me use force" He warned. But one look at my unwavering stance, he realized I didn't care for his threats.

I knew I was treading dangerous waters but I cared less.

"What do you want from me uh?" He asked. Pulling at the root of his hair in frustration and anger.

"I have bared my soul to you tonight, all of it. I have apologized, yet you didn't think I was worth your response." He continued to speak.

"I love you, I love you so fucking much, consequences be damned. But you keep doing what you do best, you push me away..." He said as he wipe away the tears I didn't know had began to fall from my cheek with is thumb.

"All I ask is that you let me love you... what are you so scared of?" He asked in a whisper.

He was right. What was I scared of? He loves me, and I love him. I know he'll go through hell and back for me, so what's was I so afraid of?

I knew what it was. What I didn't know was if I could tell him. Tell him I was afraid he would loose so much just to gain so little. So little, being me. That mum would probably die of stroke at the news which would in turn break our hearts and he'll finally move on after realising I wasn't worth it. Some part of me knew I was being paranoid. But the other side that wants to believe that this is too good to be true wins every time.

I wanted to tell him I love him, that I was just being insecure and a little too paranoid. That I do wanna move in with him, and that this past month without him has been boring. But I was still tongue tied for God knowing what reason!

"Angel it's late, I think I should get go-" he began but was unable to Complete the sentence because I had silenced him with my lips making him go stiff for just a brief moment before he went with the flow.

That's was the only thing I could do, that I wanted to do. I needed to communicate to him the things I couldn't communicate in words. All my love, all my apologies, my fears, my appreciation, everything... I was silently pleading for him to understand, and by the way he responded to me, I knew he got all the unspoken messages.

It wasn't just a simple kiss. It was love making. Has his tongue left no Conner of my mouth unattended. Like he was familiarising with every part of it.imprinting it to memory.

Every suck on my lower lip sent shivers down my spine, every bite made my heart race and every stroke of his tongue against mine had me soaking wet.

I didn't want it to end, but my need for air made me pull away from him.

My breath was ragged, and so was his. I looked up at him, taking him in. He was mesmerizing. His lovely hazel eyes were looking at me like I was all that mattered, which made my heart tug at the sincerity of it.

I'm so sorry dad...I love you ,please don't give up on me. I finally found my voice to speak.

"I won't, ever." He assured me, placing a kiss on my forehead. Before pressing my body into him.

"Baby steps?" he asked in a whisper as he placed my head on his chest.

"Baby steps" I whispered back holding close like he was my life source.

Today had gone from zero to hundred so fast but at the end, we had met each other at a common point.

I was willing to let go of my insecurities, and take it one step at a time. Nothing else matters. As long as I'm with the man I love, I could face the world head on.