Fated Or Accident novel Chapter 32

"Yes."

Today was Friday, 5 days after the baby shower and I was currently staring at a reflection of myself in the mirror, debating on whether or not I thought going on this date with Nicolas was a good. I was second guessing everything I just found out about Nicolas just because I wasn't completely sure if I wanted Nicolas back in my life. I did want him to know about the baby being his but I didn't want him to know at the same time. I wanted my child to know about their father but I didn't at the same time. I was second guessing everything because I wasn't sure if what I did for all these months was now the best idea anymore. I mean I was sure, at the beginning, that not having Nicolas in me and the baby's life was the best thing. But now that he's here again, I wasn't so sure. I felt like I did the wrong thing. What if I never get to tell Nicolas about the baby being his and he finds out and leaves because I lied for such a long time.

"He won't do that if he promised to stay forever this time." My conscience responded.

"My parents said the same thing. And look where they are." I thought to myself. My parents were supposed to be here forever, guiding me through my childhood, coaching me through life lessons. And look where they are. My parents were supposed to be at my wedding and baby showers and giving me advice about being a parent and raising a family. But I didn't get that. I would never get that thanks to that accident that changed my life forever. How am I to be completely sure that Nicolas won't leave me? Forever sounds like a long time until they leave. Then forever becomes a fantasy that you realize never exists.

I looked over at the clock next to the bed. 6:15. Nicolas was supposed to pick me up at 7. He refused to tell me where we were going and I wasn't surprised since he was trying to win me over. I just accepted it without fighting because I needed to give him a chance not for myself but for my baby. I looked down at my belly and rubbed it. I felt a kick and I teared up a little. Boy or Girl, I was going to love this baby. I was going to provide it with whatever I could and more. My child would never have the life I did.

I decided that it was time to take a shower and I grabbed my towel and headed out the bedroom and into the bathroom. The apartment was quiet since Kevin was kidnapped by Kelly; Kevin wasn't exactly thrilled with me going on a date with Nicolas so she took him out to distract him. Marco was out trying to figure out to decorate his new apartment, he was extremely excited about being in his own place and I was really happy for him. Alysia and Trevor were at the restaurant. Business for them had been booming even more, people really like foods that werent exactly what you could call normal in most places. I still threw up whenever I walked into that restaurant. The food wasn't exactly agreeable with the baby and my weak stomach.

I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower. I imagined the water letting the stress and negative thoughts wash off my body and down the drain. I washed every inch of my body enjoying the luke warm water. I used a new strawberry shampoo in my hair since I needed to do something with it today.

I rinsed the shampoo out my hair and the soap off my body before turning off the water and getting out the shower. I wrapped the towel around my body and wiped the dew off the mirror, staring at myself again. My face was calm and had a natural blush to it. I took that as a sign of me being calm and relaxed. I brushed my teeth and rinsed with scope mouthwash before wobbling back into the bedroom. I checked the clock when I got back into the bedroom. 6:45. I was now officially late. I walked over to the vanity and put curlers in my hair. At least my hair would be ready by the time I finished getting dressed. I then wobbled over to the closet, in search of something to wear.

10 minutes later, I still couldn't find an outfit that I felt suitable in and that didn't make me feel like a whale. The baby grew every day and I have to continuously buy new clothes since I couldn't fit clothes that I bought last week. I felt HUGE! I eventually settled for a low-high dress that showed my knees in the front and towards the back got longer. It was blue and white and I matched it with white sandals and a white sweater. I wobbled over to my vanity and applied a little bit of makeup that allowed my face to still look natural. I used the blow drier on my hair with the curlers still in hoping they would do what I wanted them to do. I waited 5 minutes and then took them out. Thankfully the curls did exactly what I wanted them to do. Hopefully they would stay the whole night.