New Wolf novel Chapter 108

I turned around to see him in the same spot I left him, just staring at me. It was a while before he said anything.

"You can't keep doing this."

"How do I know you won't-"

"Leave? Change? Judge you? If that's what you're worried about then you obviously don't know me. I've never left you, I'm still here, Hanna. But I don't appreciate you keeping things from me. For some reason, you can tell Jacob but you can't even look me in the eye and tell me everything's fine."

"It's different."

He gripped his hair in frustration. "How is it different! I'm your mate. You come to me first, okay? Me. I'm the one who's suppose to help you, I'm the one who's supposed to take care of you, and you won't even let me do that. I don't know what it is that you need but I can't know unless you let me in. Why is it so hard?"

"Cause bad things happen to people I care about."

"If this is about the raiders coming-"

"That's part of it. I just don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

"Don't be so sure about that. I'm different now, remember? I could kill anything or anyone easily. Especially if I lose control. I won't hesitate to get rid of anyone who stands in my way, even you."

"I'll take that chance."

"Stop. Trying. To. Save. Me."

"As soon as you stop trying to save me."

Nothing was said after that, but indirectly he knew I gave up. I had to tell him at some point so I might as well drop the walls now since they've already began crumbling. I walked back to him, and for a moment I simply bore into his soul before catching his lips. Instantly my mind calmed, my heart felt, and my skin tingled. It all seemed so brand new to me like I've never tasted his lips. I tangled my fingers in his hair, tugging a little so I could hear the growl only I could bring out. It was like breathing life again.

He was like breathing life again.

"I was four years old when I killed a man. I killed a lot of people actually, and the thing that makes it all terrifying is that I loved it. The slaughter, the pleas, the thrill it gives me to see pain, I loved it all. Troy said none of them were ever good people, but I never understood why I felt so horrible until yesterday. Even if I was doing the world a favor killing them, no matter how just and necessary it was, it wasn't their fault they were like that. Troy showed me something when we were here. These people we're against, they all think they're doing something good. To them, we're the bad guys cause we're trying to stop whatever they're fighting eighteen years for.

There was this little girl here when we were searching for the land-bridge. I thought she was being attacked by a lion-wolf, but it was planned to assassinate her rescuer. When she killed him, there was no hesitation, it was almost automatic. It made me realize how unconscious they actually were, that no one is ever born bad or evil. Society creates monsters."

"What happened to the little girl?"

She smiled halfheartedly. "Troy killed her. But he doesn't remember any of it so don't say anything. He thinks he's a monster for what he did, but I don't believe that."

"Then what do you believe?"

"He was born before chaos hit Tylon, he became a monster when he chose to join it. But monsters can change, and I believe he did when he left. Not all of them have to do monstrous things."

"So what about you? Do you think you're a monster?"

"Not yet. But I can feel myself turning. When I killed those trees, the feeling it gave was toxic. If in battle I become this was, I want you to look away. I don't just kill an enemy, Sage, I slaughter them, and not even the worst of people deserve that."